Christmas literally stunk like a rabid skunk for me. Upon waking up I knew my knee was seriously in trouble, but I didn't want to ruin anyone's Christmas fun, so I hopped and dragged myself from bed to peer down from our loft that looks down into the living room so I could at least watch the holiday festivities.
I grabbed my demon-posessed, borrowed camera, hoping with all my heart that one of those packages under the tree held a new camera just for me. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of my camera that was stolen in October in Santa Fe. I was holding out faith that, Yes Virginia...there truly was a Santa Claus.
But my hopes were soon to be dashed.
These are the images that my camera-from-hell captured from my lofty vantage point. That's my daughter Jenna showing me one of her gifts, a plastic Parasaurolophus that she had asked for. Jenna loves dinosaurs and bones, so she was thrilled.
My twinlings only asked for 3 things this year, so just like Jesus' gifts, that's all that they were given. Oh, and a few stocking stuffer goodies, like toy cars and candy. And since my hubby and I are 'only-children' we don't have any extended family that send our kids lots of gifts. So our Christmas gift tally was rather sparse and simple. But my kids were quite happy with their gifts and spent all day playing with them. Or should I say jamming in their room with the PS2 Rock Band set-up. What did your kids ask for this Christmas?
What did I get for Christmas you ask? Hmmmm....Nothing. Nada, Zilch, Zip.
Ok, I take that back. My Dad and stepmom did give me a gift card for $30 to Target. And my friend and riding buddy, Val gave me a cute horse print oven mitt, brownie mix and a plate full of delicious treats.
But hang on to your hats.....wanna know what my dear husband gave me?
An empty box with an IOU for a camera that he had just ordered from Amazon the day before. I wish I could have been excited, but the camera he had ordered wasn't even in comparison to my camera that was stolen, and I was really wishing for one with more zoom and better quality pixels. So, I held that box and tears streamed down my face, like a big old baby.
I cried and cried. And not just about having no camera gift for Christmas. I was hurt that he couldn't even pick out a bar of soap or lotion from the Bath store for me...or a candle. Anything. And that my hubby didn't even take the kids somewhere to pick out a few small things for me. I think it's so important for kids to also be involved in giving and not just receiving.
But more than anything I cried that the barn looks so far away from our house and impossible for me get to. And I cried that I can barely take care of myself, let alone my family. And my heart is breaking knowing that it may be months before I can spend time with all my animals or care for my chickens and gather eggs. Life is barely worth living if you can't do the things you enjoy.
And right now my stepmom, Dad and even my kids are driving me a little nuts. I admit that I tend to be a control freak and I do like for things to be done a specific way, but I'm not overly anal about it. But being stuck in this bed means I have to rely on others to do things for me, and though I'm grateful, it's frustrating and annoying that I can't just do it all myself.
It seems that everyone is just ignoring me and doing things the way they want to and just telling me 'to get over it', 'it's fine', 'stop worrying'....words I don't have tolerance for.
While I appreciate that my stepmom is preparing meals for everyone, she is also taking over complete control of my house and even my kids. We're on septic here, but she insists on running the washing machine, dishwasher, sink water, and even taking a shower...all at the same time....while the ground is frozen. gah! Where is all that water going to go?!
And when I tell my kids they can have a treat, my stepmom will tell them no. Which causes my daughter, who has Aspergers and OCD to be majorly confused and break into meltdowns. When I ask my sons for help or to come upstairs, she encourages them to ignore me, and then she either comes up or yells up the stairs asking what I want. (Hello! I wanted my sons, thank you!)
When I've been on the phone I've seen her shadow on the stairwell past my bedroom. What is she listening for?
When she comes up to my room to bring a plate of food, she sees the cat and starts gagging and over-reacting and telling me to get the cat away.....(The poor cat has nowhere else to go, she's locked up here in my bedroom, along with her food, water and litterbox, while my stepmom and Dad are here.)
I avoid talking with her at all, because she's not capable of just a friendly chat. No. She always has to control the conversation with advice telling me how I should do things. It's always, "You need to do this or that" gah!!
I tolerate these holiday visits because I love my kids and believe they should have family around that love them, and since we don't have much family, I want to make sure they have every opportunity to spend with their grandparents.
But jeez! It takes every ounce of my self-control to bite my tongue when my stepmom lays my kids down on the sofa, when they aren't feeling well or are out-of-sorts, and then starts rubbing and rolling magnets all over their bodies. gah!!!
I respect alternative medicine, I truly do. I use herbal remedies myself, but magnetic therapy....used on my children....without even my permission??!
I really don't think I'm being unreasonable here, am I?
Ok, I really didn't mean for this to turn into a rant or a whine (I'll take brownies with my whine please. You keep the cheese), especially since my parents do sometimes read my blog (Hi Dad!). But I really don't care right now. Maybe they'll read this and actually pay attention, and not be so narcissistic. Maybe try to be a little understanding and see where I'm coming from here. I'm really having a hard time and don't need anymore stress.
Anyway, right after breakfast, Ranchman John drove me to the hospital. It was horribly painful just trying to make it down the stairs and out the door and into the back of my van.
The hospital was mostly quiet, except for a few nutjobs in the ER. There was one guy on the other side of me who apparently partied a little hard on Christmas Eve, got drunk and was taken to ER. They let him sleep it off...until 1pm the next day, and even fed him breakfast. A beter deal than the Hilton. They kick you out by 12pm. lol!
They wanted to call his wife and kids to come pick him up, but he was too embarassed, so they called him a cab. How does someone do that to their family? Drink so much, end up in ER, and then not even tell their family where they are...on Christmas?! What a jerk.
Everyone was really nice to me in the ER and a few of the workers came over to share with me their own horse related injuries. It made me feel alot better, especially from the people who still rode and owned horses after their injuries.
I had an X-Ray done, and no broken bones. But the swelling is so bad that an MRI wouldn't be much help for at least a week or two. So, I'll have to wait on a sure diagnosis. But the PA did do a manual exam of my knee and believes that my ACL (anterior cruciate ligament) and most likely, my Meniscus cartilage are damaged. Not good news. I still can't bend my leg or lay it flat. And the pain is terrible.
They started me off with Vicodin, but all it did was make me tired. The pain was still there. So they followed that up with a Percocet and Motrin. Finally a little relief.
I did take my evil camera to the hospital with me in case I got bored.
I was given a comfy leg brace/splint which is such a Godsend, now that I don't have to hold my leg to keep it from moving and causing pain. They also gave me crutches, which I'm also grateful for. Mobility is highly under-rated. Being able to move yourself to the bathroom, on your own, is a true measure of freedom.
So, with my new freedom of mobility gear, and my pain med prescription, I was in much better spirits as we left the hospital. (Do you notice the scarf and hat? I just completed them on Christmas Eve morning. They are made with alpaca, mohair and camel yarns. Very soft, too. Looks like, with my strict bedrest orders, I'll have lots of time to knit now. lol!)
And while I appreciate Ranchman John's careful Chauffeur skills, he's still in the proverbial doghouse for now. Grrr....
What else am I grateful for?
1)My laptop
2)Pillows
3)Chocolate
4)Tea
5)My family and friends
6)My favorite Blogs to read
7)All of my very supportive and caring Blogger Buddies
(and not necessarily in that order)
Thank you for the kind comments you've all been leaving for me.
I read them all, and they truly lift my spirits!!
Have a safe holiday weekend,
49 comments :
Oh honey, I'm so sorry Christmas sucked!!!
I'm not much into doling out guilt, but didn't you take care of an injured hubby and the twinlings after their horrible accident? Maybe a gentle reminder of such would help hubby come around.
It is possible, that you aren't getting much sympathy because non-horse people think it's your own darn fault. I got that some when my horse wreck happened.
Too bad you can't come here. I'd be glad to bring you tea and chocolate and People magazine. I'd even let you have the remote control and take naps whenever you want.
Tell hubby just how you feel about the camera and the lack of gifts. Tell Dad that you love him, but that it's time to go home. No one deserves acid step-monsters, even when they aren't hurt.
Snuggle up to that kitty and try to get some sleep. I hope your drugs put a dent in your pain.
((((Hugs girl))))
Oh my! Where to start? Sorry you had such a crummy Christmas. I hope your New Year's is a BIG improvement. Being able to get around is a big deal here these days too, with The Farmer just having both knees replaced, & we have a granddaughter with Cerebral Palsy who has mobility problems. So I understand your frustration, at least as much as another person can. I hope you'll be able to move about more soon.
& extended family, boy! that can be a either very nice or very BAD. Sorry your experience right now is on the bad side.
I know you wanted a better camera so bad. I'm sorry that didn't work out as you hoped either.
Sending those hugs & warm wishes your way.
I am so sorry about your sad situation. I wish I could cheer you up.
For the first time, I am at a loss for words.
I will keep you in my prayers.
I am so sorry! May prayer heal you before the doctor. Magnets may help!
I have told my horse story, talked about my addiction, and went for a walk(not rubbing it in) so you will have plenty of things to catch up on my blog.
We are thinking about you. Griping is good for stress relief.
May your New Year be blessed.
Awwwwww. I almost sent you an email to ask if you got a new camera for Christmas! If my old Kodak hadn't crapped out this past month, I was going to send it to you and see if it's any better than the one you are using.
I had a birthday like your Christmas. My husband waited until the last minute to get gifts, but got sick. He handed me a $20 bill and told me to go buy myself a birthday cake. No one got me anything for my birthday that year. I felt so lost and forgotten.
To make matters worse, I had to take a test for a forestry job on my birthday, and I drove for an hour only to find out that they changed the location of the test site. I had to race to the other side of Reno for the test, and got stuck in school zones and road construction. By the time I reached the testing site, they had closed the doors and weren't letting anyone else in. Needless to say, I didn't get the job. I tried to make myself feel better by driving to a horse stable to treat myself to a ride, but it was CLOSED!!! I cried all the way home.
I keep reminding myself not to behave like my parents and in-laws when my children get married and have children, but I think it is the natural order of things. People get more rigid as they get older. I really dislike having guests, because it is stressful, even when they are in your home to help.
Oh Lisa! I wish there was something I could do for you. If I had the money I'd get you that camera you want. Your hubby needs a stern talking to! He should have at least gotten you the camera you wanted and had the foresight to order it time to get there for Christmas. I agree that it is time to tell dad to go home. Just tell him with the knee injury you can't handle the extra people in the house.
Let me know if there is anything I can do at all.
Wow chic! What an eventful last few days you have had! I'm so sorry you hurt your knee..my dh is having knee surgery on the 31st for torn acl and meniscus as well. I'll let you know how that goes and what to expect. HE had to do about 5 weeks of pt and have a range of motion of 90 degrees before they would operate. Poor Girl! I hate it for you!
Sorry about Christmas...my daughter got me NOTHING except at the last minute decided to take me out to eat which we are doing tonight...I'd rather have gotten a $2 present than dinner....to me thats so impersonal....and are you sure your step mom isnt MY mom? LOL she doesnt do that magnetic stuff, but she undermines me every chance she gets...like you, put up with it when I have to for the kids. Getting her to understand how it is to live on a farm and that we just dont "play" on 4wheelers all day is like leading a horse to water! And you know how that goes. I could whine all day about that subject, but I wont submit you to that....Instead I'll just say a HUGE prayer for you! keep us posted on your recovery! HUGZ from all the way over here in Kentucky!
Oh my... first of... ((Hugs))
Ouchy, that knee looks terribly sore!
Thank goodness for pain medicine... ahhh....
I'm so sorry about all the stuff you had to go through.
If only I lived closer and then I could personally help you out.
Hang in there my friend and feel free to vent all you want!
It does the soul good!
Get well!!!
~Michele~
Bummer about the camera. I don't know what you had or what you ordered? Mine is just a 3x zoom and 7.2 megapix. I really want a Nikon ultra zoom (not ready for the digital SLR's yet! :) My camera actually takes some good photos- if the subject is up close, and you are outdoors with good blue-sky light. Sometimes I get shots I am shocked that with minor editing, are that good. Other times, I get so frustrated, especially indoors or on darker days.
I wanted to tell you that in one of your pics I noticed a really cool dreamcatcher next to the fireplace. I have one almost exactly like that! It's cream colored. It was at the school I worked at, just in the collection of stuff for a unit on native americans. When we cleaned out the school a year ago, they were going to donate it away and I snagged it! I know those are expensive and this one was obviously handmade. I hope to put it in my ranch house someday....when I get a ranch house! :)
Hang in there Lisa, I'm sending good happy thoughts your way!!
Oh man, that really does suck. I'm such an awful nurse that I'm not really one to talk. And I absolutely understand your sentiments about your family's cluelessness and thoughtlessness about gift giving. Any chance you can order yourself the camera you want?
Rest, get better, use ice and enjoy the drugs. Better living thru chemistry, I always say!
Stay tuned to my blog for a camera-related post.
Oh, Lisa, I'm sorry for the really challenging Christmas you're having. :/
I hope things get better soon - and that the knee heals well and quickly so you can get back to the things that make your days so special.
My husband is not great at gifts either, and he always forgets that taking the kids out shopping so they can participate would be both good for them AND fun.
I have tried to let go of expectations on that front. He does a lot of other things that mean a lot to me, and in recent years he and I have agreed to be in charge of getting our own gifts for birthdays and Christmas. It isn't perfect, but is better than feeling let down.
What you wrote about control and being stuck upstairs right now reminded me a lot of myself. It's very difficult for me to be a "patient" and it's even harder for me to let go of my standards when it comes to the way things get done in the barn. I'm not traveling much these days, b/c while my husband is perfectly willing to do the chores while I'm gone, it's hard for me to come back to the chaos that results when things don't get done consistently. There's probably a lesson in letting go of some of this need to have things a certain way, so if you discover it while you heal, be sure to share! I need some of that lesson too. :)
Hang in there. I know things will get better once you can get out and about again.
Well it sure sounds like a rotten Christmas for you. When you do finally get your camera, if it's not exactly what you wanted say thanks but no thanks and trade it in for the exact model you had in mind.
As for the kids not getting you anything, that hurts. Even if you have to teach them yourself, have them make gifts for everyone for different occasions until they get the idea of giving instead of receiving for special occasions.By the time next Christmas rolls around I'm sure you'll either have a handmade gift or a store bought one.
Unfortunately, I'm an expert on knees.(I never wanted to be). I have torn the meniscus' in both my knees. It does hurt like the devil, but if you need an operation, which I did, it's no big deal. In and out of the hospital in a few hours and it will feel better really quickly. Not so with my knee replacement, still gets swollen and sore, but it's only coming up to the 4 month mark. So a little better each day, I'm looking forward to the spring so I can ride again. And don't forget I've got at least 10 years on you, so you will heal much more quickly than I did.
As for step mom, well fish and company stink after three days. Time to go. Toodle-ooh, thanks for the memories.
Hang in there, hope you feel better soon.
Lisa - considered yourself hugged :)
Oh Lisa, what a terrible feeling to feel trapped and controlled in your own home. I really understand as it would drive me bonkers if that happened to me too. I also can totally relate to that little girl who lives inside of your heart who was holding that empty box with the IOU in it. I've had those same feelings before and I cried with you when reading your words.
I agree with CeeCee's comment about telling your Dad you love him, but that's it's really time for him and your stepmother to go home now. Your stepmother should not be acting so disrespectfully in your home. It is YOUR home not hers.
Also, you should get your husband alone and completely tell him everything that you feel. Share it all and ask for what you want and need right now. Be specific with him, and ask him for his help. He is your partner, after all, right? You would help him if he needed you, right? You will feel better when you get some control and sanity back into your environment and your life. Remember, we your blog buddies, are here for you. Rant, share, vent, whatever. We understand. May your New Year bring happiness, understanding and peace all around.
Poor poor Lisa. How I feel for you having to deal with inlaws. My dad drives my hubby crazy 100% of the time. Unfortunately for hubby, he lives right behind us and comes over whenever HE wants to. lol Other than that, the boys only have another grandpa and he lives in AZ, so we never see him. So neither of us has to deal with visiting in-laws that stay with us. Vent honey, vent away. If I were you, I'd load up on the Vicodin if they make you sleepy. At least another few days (until in-laws skidaddle, hehe).
Uh oh, how old is Hannah? I have a little 7 year old boyfriend for her here in Ohio! lol. My older one LOVES dinosaurs and about 95% of his present were dino related. Seriously.
Sorry about your camera :( Mine is just fine (albeit not fancy at all) and I cannot seem to figure out how to work it (settings) until AFTER the photo opps are over.
The boys' Christmas collection was sort of sparse too. Seems in this day and age, everything costs a fortune so you can't get a whole lot of what they want. My older one really wanted a Nintendo DS, but I couldn't see spending 2/3 of his Christmas budget on one thing like that, so we are going to wait until his b-day in june. The little one never really cared what he got, but they both seemed to like what they got.
Lisa, so sorry Christmas was so difficult. I've about decided myself to buy my own gifts from now on. DH just isn't very good at it. LOL I hope you heal up quick and your company goes home soon.
;0)
Lisa your whole Christmas sucked! I suggest this for Ranchman John...set him down and make him watch it...This is required viewing for every husband or significant other...
http://bewareofthedoghouse.com/videoPage.aspx
I think that your Dad & wife should go home now. JMHO...
The knee looks terrible and I'm sure it hurts worse than it looks. I hope it won't require surgery. Prayering for you.
Politely but assertively let your stepmom know that you appreciate her help, but it is your house, your kids and that you'd like it if she would realize that and not override your authority.
Hey, sorry to hear about your horse accident and your terrible Christmas experience. I'm not defending your husband but would like to suggest that it's important to remember men think differently than women. Sometimes my wife upsets me about something or is angry with me about something and I have to take a step back to try and see it her way, considering the way she thinks is different than my own. I think it's a good idea to have a constructive conversation with your husband about how you feel and why so he understands why you're so upset. When Mikki does that with me, sometimes I'm shocked at why she feels that way. For what it's worth, hearing your side it sure seems like he belongs in the dog house. Been there myself a few times this month!
In any case, get well soon. I'm SO glad you were wearing a helmet. Thanks for the reminder that anything can happen at any time without evident provocation.
Ok..so you got my email, and I won't repeat myself, but life really SUCKS for you right now, doesn't it??? Hey, one positive thing about this, is that you will have plenty of time to knit those scarves and hats...lol!!!
Oh, and I appreciate your and Stephanie's concern about my family drama right now too!! I didn't mention it to you at first, because I figured you had enough on your plate already. :)
PS-Your kid's are a good mix (looks-wise) between you and your husband. I can really see both of you in them.
I am so sorry about your knee...your Christmas misery...your empty box gift...(by the way, I got one of those too. Promising a laptop...which has been promised before - and not a new one either. Grrr. Nothing else. Nothing. So I know how you feel about that!)and your camera...I am so sad for you. I wish I lived close and could come sit with you. I would love for you to teach me how to knit... or crochet...Not sure which one you said you did. I would love to learn either one.
Okay, well, I don't know what to say to cheer you up... it just plain sucks for you right now. It's eerie how much I can relate to your story. Not the injury per say... but the feeling of someone in your house doing the things you normally do, irritating you beyond words - and yet you must be grateful for their help. And you are... but at a price. I know... I've been there. It's yucky. I'm so sorry.
I hope you heal real fast and can be on your feet before you know it.
I know... but that is my prayer!11
hugs.
Oh dear! That's a LOT going on at once. Hang in there and try to stay sane.
family can be toxic. you do not have to have your dad and stepmother over for holidays. you can choose however and whenever you want to see them, or not. if you never want them in your house again, that is OK. it really is. do not be a doormat. do not just do everything bc it is expected. you have to live your life and life is tough enough without people purposely trying to bring you down. that woman is not good for you. good riddance. and your children need a good lesson in the giving spirit. next year? coal. birthday? a card. thats it. if all they are is gimme gimme gimme on christmas, sorry, they need to be brought down a couple of notches. learn how it feels to be ignored on a special day. they could have made you a card with loving words.
Oh my dear girl!
I am so sorry, what a Crap-Ola Holiday! I totally get the Step Mom deal, hubby's Mom is my personal nemisis. I pray for a quick and speedy recovery, and back in the saddle !
Oh and the lame-o gift deal? I would be just as Po'd as you are. YOu are not alone there.
Get well soon!
Lisa, it's been way too long since I've been here, and wow, what a christmas you had! First, I'm glad nothing else was injured. I've had an ACL injury a year and a half ago and it's no picnic...definate ouch and you sure do get a quick appreciation for simple things like getting to the bathroom. Wow, I'll be praying you'll heal quickly. As far as the presents and hubby being in the doghouse, I've had some of those years, too. It's strange to realize that we (the mom) are often the glue that holds it all together. I'm glad your family had a good time, but so sorry you had to be an onlooker and that it wasn't the scenario of your dreams. You've got a good hub, though, and he'll know better next time :) as far as stepmom insensitivity, my former MIL really could get on my nerves in my own home, but we did better when visiting hers. If she's keeping the kids entertained and doing the dishes, though, I'd just pop some of those pain pills and count sheep.
Oh, I'm SO with you on not ever wanting to be told to "go with the flow," "just relax," or my least favorite "chill out."
You hang in there, girl!! You were so encouraging to me during Jack's mom's illness and passing...I hope you are back on your feet before long and in the meantime can do a few things you wouldn't have time for (knitting?)otherwise.
SO sorry about it all...I can empathize with your disappointment and frustration!
:) Robbyn
Oh no - sorry to hear that you had a bad Christmas!!! The family, the injury and no presents -that does kinda suck!
I'm really sorry to hear about your knee - that is not good at all - at least it seems that nothing is broken.
Maybe you and the Ranchman need to have a chat so that he knows how your are feeling. Sometimes people don't realize what they are doing...
Hang in there girl! All of your blog friend are rooting for you!!!
Oh Dear, An IOU? Yikes! If I had gotten that, I'd be pretty sour too. I sure hope you don't need knee surgery! And I'm sending a belated Merry Christmas to you. Do hope ou feel better soon! Take care my paint mare, sis!
Oh Lisa! :( I am so sorry to hear things have been going so badly for you!
I think you should come stay with me and I'll spoil you rotten ok? See you could just go from blogging friend to blogging friend and have a great time even with a sore knee!
I agree with the others about trading the camera in for one you want...you definitely deserve it!
I am sending nothing but positive thoughts your way, and that you will have a happiness filled 2009!!
*Sigh* Oh Lisa, I feel so bad for you. What a rotten Christmas. You have every right to complain and whine. Go right ahead!
I know what you mean when you say you like things to be done a certain way. I am the same way. I've learned that it can really make me miserable to have to control things too much so at my ripe old age of 39 I'm loosening my grip on the reins a bit. However, it doesn't mean I like it!
If it's any comfort, the surgical techniques used to repair your kind of knee damage are very successful. And you're young, healthy and active...exactly the kind of patient who has a quick recovery. Orthopedic surgeons love patients who can't sit still!
I hope you find some relief on the family end of your aggravation. You're exhibiting much more self-control than I could ever muster. While I'm willing to tolerate physical pain, I'm not willing to tolerate irritating people, relatives or not. I've got a septic system too and ignorant folks can sure mess it up quick running too much water. If I were your neighbor I'd be over there kickin' some butt on your behalf, tossin' people outta your house and makin' you a big omelet with mushrooms and cheese and some bacon and home fries on the side. You need some comfort food!
Keep your laptop handy and we'll try to get you through this tough spot.
How you haven't popped, I don't know. Lol. Geeezus!! Not just being laid up, but being taken over.
I have no advice for this one, except perhaps a BB gun. When I've been laid up I put a box in the corner with a target on it and shoot till I feel better, lol.
That might not be a good idea, but it does help.
Warmest wishes you recover soon. Wish I could be there to help you!!
okay Lisa, it's time to plan your convolesnce. The key to turning this around is to decide what you are going to gain. Here's what I did when I was in a similar situation:
In bed craft projects with kids. The theme: MAKE MOMMY A PRESENT.
In bed vacation planning (even free ones to a place best seen by car). Theme: MAKE MOMMY HAPPY.
In bed chick flick marathon. The theme: MOVIED MOMMY WANTS TO WATCH.
I'm sure you get the idea.
Sorry it has been so crappy. But let's use this to put you ahead for next year!
Hang in there, we are all pulling for you.
Oh Liss..you gotterbad!
I am sorry...I got to the part with your cute little Llama towel
in the pic..and your comment about taking the evil camera to the hospital -in case you got bored...I lost it right there...WHATT ??were ya gonna take pics of??!!
You are a hoot..even when your'e pissed off and frankly going on about things that we have soooo much in commom over, it's scarey!
All I can say is....
We were snowed in and saw no family, at all! I got a dictionary for Christmas and I hurt for you with the lay up-with pain involved.
Please remember to be still..that is ususally the only thing I can think of when God when He seemingly stops me.
"Be still and know I am God"..I hear Him say to my heart...it calms me down and makes me realise..whatever is happening to me at the moment or longer, is no surprize to Him. He's got your back.
LOVE YOU ...Please take care, I am glad you are getting help and meals.
I know your family loves you and your horses and animals misssssss You!
KK
Oh Lisa, I'm also really sorry your Chirstmas was crappy. I totally feel for you - I have been there, everything but the kids part. My hubby really pulled himself all the way out of the dog house this year during Christmas, but we've had our rough patches -really rough patches so I know - I really know how you are feeling.
In 2004 I was bucked off a rotten gelding I had and shattered my shoulder blade when I hit the ground - there wasn't even a piece of bone big enough to put a screw in so that they could use a plate to put my shoulder back together. The muscle surrounding my shoulder blade was mashed, literally. So it swelled and amazingly held the pieces of my shoulder blade in place long enough for the bone to fuse back together.
It happened right in the middle of the show season, a day before our first wedding anniversary and hubby was a total ass about it. I was stuck in a recliner for a week and then for another week was still totally dependent on others to help me so simple things.
One of the things I have learn after dealing with the aftermath of my shoulder accident and my car accident is that not only did I have to stop trying to be in control (I was just like you) but I had to learn that when people offer to help sometimes even though, I really didn't need it or want it - its best to sit back and accept it. Some people can get super offended or hurt if you refuse their help, sometimes they feel like they need to do something and if you don't let them they feel lousy.
All I can say is take a deep breath and let it out slowly. It may take awhile for you to heal, I won't lead you astray there - but you will be back in control of your household before you know it.
I would go totally bonkers over the magnet thing too - but it probably won't hurt, as long as she does something for real to treat them along with the magnets. And later when she is gone you can explain to your kids that magnets aren't 100% proven to treat sickness and injuries but alot of people use them because they might help...
This is my best advice - that I usually can't follow myself...
Get alot of rest. Take your drugs as prescribed - if you start to feeling really crappy (sad or pain wise) tell your doc and be willing to accept that your house is going to become a giant wreck - but that it will also go back to normal as you get better. It will not be permanent.
If I were down there near you I'd be over in a sec to cook and help you out - honest.
Please try to feel better - are you icing? 20 minutes on and 20 off.
Eat yogurt with your pain pills it will help regulate your system - the Dannon Activia I have found to work the best.
I am so sorry to hear that you were injured! And that you had such a horrible Christmas! I hope that each day is on step on the road to recovery and that you will soon have your house back in order. I hurt my knee in the same way and highly recommend that you do everything the doctors order and let it heal... I pushed things way to fast and as such still cant wear high heels and have chronic pain in my knee 5 years later.
*hugs*
C
My hubby is promising me a new camera for my birthday in February and I'm dreading it. He'll give me one that HE likes! MEN! I hear 'ya. Don't feel too badly. We spent Christmas with my SISTER-IN-LAW! Ugh! She completely ignored me the whole time we were there! All I can say is that it's GOOD to be home! Now, be a good girl and take your meds and get better!
Lisa I feel your emotional pain. My Christmas gift was hubby asking me if I would be able to leave baby for three days to travel when he's 9 months. Apparently he too had big "plans" but couldn't bother taking the time to spend $5 and get me a bar of soap, bottle of lotion or anything else.
I too usually take the kids to the dollar store and let them buy gifts for each other and us. This year we only had them buy gifts for each other. So I openend nothing on Christmas morning. Now normally I would feel guilty (and I did) for not getting Rudy anything except that when we were in AZ for thanksgiving he opted to purchase a $200 Garmin GPS and said not to get him anything because that was his gift. He then had the nerve to tell me that there was this thing for his iPod that I could get him if I wanted to. He told me this 4 days before Christmas.
I'm very sorry about your knee. Sucks being down and not being able to do the things you desire. If you need ANYTHING at all please don't hesitate to call me. I might even be able to brave the snowy mountain and come see you while you're down.
Jenifer D
You poor, sweet girl!
Buy the camera you want! Tell him you had your heart set on something different--that you need a better camera for your blog. Tell him your readers demand high-quality images to accompany your high quality narrative. :) I'm still willing to pitch in a little for your new camera fund!!
Also, you might want to buy your hubby a copy of The Five Love Languages. Obviously, he doesn't understand your need to be appreciated and validated with gifts. Maybe that isn't a need of his so he doesn't recognize your need. If he sees where you're coming from, he might see the light.
I will pray for you, my friend. Things will have to get better soon!!! They just have to.
Kisses and hugs!!!! :)
Just remembered this too...
If things aren't preceding well with healing or pain - don't be afraid to insist that your doc try something different.
I don't know why this has to be in America - but both times that I have been seriously injured I have had to sit down with my doctors and say "Hey! I am hurt and the pain meds you gave me aren't working - I am not an addict now give me something that will work!" every time I have done that they have come back with "Well what do you think we should do" or "Well what do you want" --- I don't buy that crap, don't bite - - I answer with "I don't know that's why I am here asking you the professional" That will usually gets the response I am after. ***A course of action - a new plan for pain management, or new plan for treatment from my doctor***
Whew! That was a tough one! Like pulling teeth!
I am so, so, so very sorry!! You go ahead and rant all you want...we are here to listen and I think we all understand where you are coming from!! I just want to reach out and give you a big'ol hug, but since we are miles and a few states apart, I will have to send you ((((((GREAT BIG HUGS)))) instead through this comment. You take care of yourself and rest, so you can recover faster and get back to doing the things you love!! Would you like me to hire a good-looking, hunky male nurse to come help you recover faster....he, he.....just had to ask...=D More (((HUGS))) for you...take care.
Hey Lisa,
I hope you are feeling better now.
It always makes me feel better to just get those feelings on out. You are allowed that!
If I was close enough I would come over and cook you up a big pot of chicken and dumplings. Comfort food. Yum.
When your camera arrives, just look at it. It may surprise you. My new one is 8 mega pixels and my old one 4. I honestly can't tell much difference. I like my old one better too. I may see if it can be fixed.
Keep your head up and look your stepMother in the eyes when you talk to her. (politely but firmly)
I have been there too.
Everything will be fine.
Hugs and strength from Georgia.
Pam
I just ran across your blog today while snooping, er --surfing, around, and I enjoyed the visit, but I'm really sorry you had a crummy Christmas.
I can relate to some of it, for sure, and I appreciate your honesty.
Come visit anytime.
O Lisa, this isn't your year! I hope you recover altogether and soon..I know knees are tricky..
I had a MIL just like your step mom.. i was her way or the highway..
Bear up dear girl..knowing that this too shall pass..
hugs,
Linda
Lisa,
I am so sorry you had such a lousy Christmas.
I had very similar problems with my husband a few years back and although I may not the best at voicing my feelings I made a point of sitting him down and explaining that although specific dates (like birthdays and Christmas) don't mean much to him they mean an awful lot to me. It really worked! Please try it. Guys just don't see life the same way that we do, they are often genuinely suprised that certain things upset us so much.
When your new camera arrives, package it back up, return it and order the model that you want. Amazon are actually really helpful when you call them up with something like this, especially if you are ordering something more expensive! With the Christmas you have had you owe it to yourself.
And when you have that chat with your husband, tell him that he needs to take your children shopping too. Even if they just have a couple of dollars each and just buy you a nice bar of chocolate, they can make their own wrapping paper and decorate it for you. It is about time they learned to acknowledge the person who works so hard to care for them.
Finally, take this opportunity to pamper yourself. I am sure you have some nice lotions and candles around. Give yourself a nice manicure (I am sure your aren't going to do it when you are working outside all the time). Dose up on those pain killers light some nice scented candles and try and tune out the dreaded step mother!
We are all rooting for you and sending best wishes your way. I hope life gets better for you quickly.
I am so sorry to have found you so discombobulated (technical word there) and upset over Christmas! How sad! I just wanted to tell you that I've had some horrible horse accidents and some horrible Christmases (I usually have to buy my own gifts 'cause Hubby usually won't), but believe it or not you'll be out of the woods in no time. I hope you heal quickly and I hope your S-MIL doesn't drive you too batty! I know how inlaws can be and it can be hard... But make sure you appreciate her making the meals while you can't, no matter how hard it is to appreciate. I know... I like things done my way too, especially when it comes to my kid! Chin up and big (((HUGS)))!!
~Joan
Oh Lisa , I am so sorry this has happened to you. Big hug. I wish I had the words to comfort you. I went through years of pain and had no help. Other than every one did there own laundry as I could not get up and down steps. My back was out and hubby had to put my feet to the ground to get me up. I am so glad those days are done. But they can return if I do the wrong thing. I so pray you will be healed and this is but temporary.
Moist heat will help with the pain. Rice in a sock microwaved for 3 min. Or a wet towel in a plastic bag covered with a towel.
First of all, good for you for putting it all out there and being real. That took a lot of courage.
Man, I take a couple of days off from Blogging and I'm so out of touch!
I'm so sorry to find out that you got hurt and had such a crappy Christmas!
There seems to be a negative virus going around Blogger Land at the moment. I'm experiencing some less than stellar stuff and others I've visited are too. Hmmm....
Get better, Sweetie. Hug Javalina and keep your chin up.
I am so, so sorry about your day.
About the S-MIL... she is, as you know, seriously over-stepping boundaries, and it sounds like her personality is a bit toxic to boot. Is she like that around everybody or is she threatened by the relationship you have with your dad? Some step-parents are not tolerant of their spouses good relationships with their children.
About the gifts, that's just horrid. I nearly teared up reading it. DH and I agreed not to do presents for each other this year, and he couldn't understand why I was hurt that he didn't help the kids get me a present, as I'd done for them with him. "But we weren't doing presents for each other." Gah!
Heal quickly and thoroughly.
OMG, your christmas post made me CRY. You poor thing!!!!!!
Sending lots of love and prayers your way and also for your friends.
Hugs!
Deanna
Cornerstonenigerian.blogspot.com
FiberPhanatic.blogspot.com
Dear Lisa
I'm so sorry that your Christmas has turned out this way.You are such a kind, loving, joyous person and I can relate to how upset this would make you. Esp. the later post about your Stepmom. Argghhh-that would make me nuts, too!
Wish I was closer, I'd come help you!
As for the armpit pain-make absolutely sure you are not putting any prssure on your armpits-use your arms to brace/support you. As for cushion-may you could use your fluffiest, thickest polo wraps around the tops of crutches. Just a thought!
I wish you a speedy recovery and will be sending positive energy your way!
Marie from LI {aka FjordWoman}
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