Back in the Saddle Again

 

It’s so easy to talk yourself out of riding. It’s too hot. Too humid. It’s too cold. Too windy. It’s raining. It’s snowing. I’m too tired. My horse might be too tired. I’ve got too much to do around the house. It’s dinnertime for my horse. It’s dinnertime for me. I don’t feel like getting dirty. My horse is too muddy. My knees hurt. My horse seems gimpy. My horse seems too spooky. My horse is too hyper. I’m too nervous. I’m scared. I just don’t feel like it today.

The conversation in your head goes on and on, until finally it’s too late and the opportunity to ride passes by.

That’s how it’s been for me the past 3 weeks. And after watching my twinling Jax getting bucked off last week, I’ve been throwing the excuses around like a tornado whips around debris.

Like my friend, Renee says, “Horses can mess with your head”.

Yet I still had a desperate desire to ride my horse again.

And like everyone has told me again and again, Apache is not Bella.

Speaking of Bella, check out Beth’s recent post over at Fearless Riding where she brings up some excellent points and shares her thoughts on Honest Horses vs Honorable Horses.

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Our weather this time of year is unpredictable and we can usually expect at least a little bit of rain every afternoon. I’m not typically an early morning rider. My mornings are usually busy helping my daughter and doing daily chores around the house.  It’s rare that I can get freed up until after lunch. And that’s when our monsoon weather begins. Sometimes it’s just some rumbling of thunder and maybe some far off lightning, and a spattering of raindrops. At other times, the sky can open up and dump several inches of hard falling rain faster than our earth can soak it up. You just never know.

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On Thursday after returning from the store, I took Jen up for a pony ride on Apache. The Quarter Horse machine at the grocery store is still broken and keeps trying to steal my quarters, so I promised Jen she could ride Apache when we got home.

Problem was that it was dinnertime for Apache and I had a feeling she might not be so thrilled about giving Jen a pony ride for too long. I was right, but at least Apache was patient and generous for about 15 minutes or so. But after I led Jen through several of the obstacles in the pasture and circled the entire pasture several times, Apache finally started to get grouchy, shaking her head, trying to give me little nips, and just being impatient. I didn’t want to correct her with Jen on her back, so I made my daughter dismount while I gave Apache a little reminder that I was still in control and she needed to be polite. After a few minutes of ground work, she seemed to remember her manners and I lifted Jen back up into the saddle again and we did another circle of the pasture and rode through the vine obstacle, and then we called it a day.

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My hips have been bothering me for over a week now. I’ve got hip dysplasia in both of my hips. Basically bone rubbing bone at times. I’ve discovered that it’s worse when I don’t ride often enough. Somehow the motion of the horse acts as physical therapy and helps my hips loosen up and releases the pain, so that after I’m finished riding, it’s as if I had a physical therapy session, took some ibuprofen and had a massage. I just feel so much better. Does anyone else experience this, too?

 

Last night I decided to get some equine physical therapy for me and refused to make any excuses, even though it was dinnertime again for Apache. I did try to be nice to her, though, by giving her a small pile of hay in her stall while I groomed her and tacked her up. She seemed very grateful and was well behaved while I got her saddle on, and then led her out to get her bridle on. I’ve been wanting to try my Dr. Cook’s Bitless Bridle on her and have even dusted it off and oiled it up in preparation, but it was already so late in the day and I wasn’t ready to surprise her with something new when we didn’t have that much time. I’d really like to use it for when I’m grazing her while on her back, so she can eat without having a bit in her mouth. I think she will appreciate that, too.

I don’t mind hand-grazing Apache, but I had hand-grazed my llama, Cataleya for about 45 minutes the evening before, and I find that my knees and hips start to ache after all that standing around.

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Anyway, I set up the mounting block and led her over to it. She was a perfect lady and stood still as a statue while I mounted. But when I leaned over to check the cinch I discovered that it was very loose. She must have let out all her air after the initial tightening. So I dismounted and tightened the cinch and was very happy with how Apache never moved an inch while I did all the last minute fussing around and got back up in the saddle again from the mounting block. Apache also stood still while I got everything adjusted and gathered up my reins. And she didn’t move until I asked her. I love that about her. I really do.

Then I moved her forward and down the hill, riding through the vine obstacle, and opening and closing the mailbox obstacle. Apache’s so cute. She knows that Jen and I think it’s fun to ride through the vine obstacle and sometimes she will ride through it, stop in the middle, continue through, and then turn around and go right back through from the other side.

We rode in the pasture for about 15 minutes, using the yuccas, and baby pine trees as obstacles to circle and maneuver around, and then we headed out to the rest of our property. I called my twinling Jem, on my cell phone to come open the gate and hang out with me. And I was glad to have his company. He always likes to take photos and do video when we’re doing stuff outside. So I gave him full freedom of my camera and he seemed to have a great time taking pictures in between jumping on the trampoline.

I didn’t really have an agenda except to let Apache graze while I loosened up my hips with the motion of her walking.

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It started to sprinkle rain while we were out there, but it never really rained. The coolness of the grey skies and spattering of rain actually felt good on my skin. And Apache didn’t seem to mind either. She was just glad to be able to munch grass as an appetizer before her hay and grain dinner.

(Yeah, I know my heels aren’t down. My left knee is still gimpy and the muscles in that leg just don’t stretch as long as they should. Also my stirrups could be adjusted because they’re probably a little long)

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I decided to ask her to walk down the stairs in our backyard so she could enjoy some of the thicker, regularly watered grass down there. And she balked a few times, but I kept asking and she finally agreed.

I think I made it well worth her effort as she seemed quite happy to have that moist, green grass to eat.

Jem thought it would be fun to capture Apache on video tape, going up and down the stairs.

So she and I both cooperated, though we had to do it several times because we’d go up and down faster than he could press the video button and focus. lol!

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While we were down in the grassy back yard, several military helicopters flew directly overhead. Jem shot this funny photo of me looking up while Apache listened to the helicopters not far overhead. It looks like I’m stretching out my back, doesn’t it. lol!

Jem didn’t think I’d post that photo because it looked so silly, so this photo is for him. Surprise!!! hehe!

And in this picture, my twinling Jax was inside the bathroom and talking to me from that horizontal open window. I wonder what Apache thinks of those mysterious voices that seem to lack a body?

 

Oh yeah, and I just noticed there’s a chicken on our back porch. lol! 

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It was getting dark and we humans were all hungry for dinner and we’d planned on watching the video Spiderwick Chronicles together (by the way…awesome movie!), so I asked Apache to head back to the barn and was pleasantly surprised to find that she wasn’t eager to head back and was enjoying carrying me around while being allowed to munch grass. In comparison, Baby Doll was so barn sour, that leaving the barn for any reason resulted in at least a few head tosses and a crow hop or two. Apache, on the other hand seems to be happier when she is allowed to leave her pasture and see new places.

But after a few failed attempts at snatching some last bites of grass, she reluctantly agreed to head back to the barn. She walked slowly, though, and patiently stood for me to dismount. I am so appreciative for how forgiving and patient she always is with my clumsy dismounting, too. With my wonky knees and hips I just don’t have much finesse with swinging my legs up and over and jumping down. And this all has to happen on Apache’s off-side, too. Quite honestly, I think she prefers me mounting and dismounting on her right side. I think most horses’ backs and shoulder muscles get way over-used on their left side because they don’t get any opportunities for their riders to mount and dismount from both sides.

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Anyway, Apache did a wonderful job trying to remove the awful image I’ve kept replaying in my mind, of Jax being bucked off by Bella. And she certainly worked her magic on my hips as I had no pain or stiffness after riding her. She got lots of hugs from me and my kidlets and I was touched to overhear my twinling son, Jem whisper to Apache as he hugged her, “Thanks for taking such good care of my Mama”.

My Dirty Little Secret

 

I’ve got a dirty little secret.

Apache has been in my life since February 21 and, until last week, I hadn’t ridden her at home. My daughter has ridden Apache at home a few times, but not me.

Yes, I’ve ridden Apache over at Colleen’s ranch and I’ve ridden her out on the trails, in the indoor arena, during the ACTHA Competitive Trail Ride last month, and all around Cedar Hill Farm, but I rode her with other people and horses around, not by myself and not at home.

I suppose I was just being cautious, worried that something might happen and no one would be around to help, even though I do wear a cell phone strapped to my leg.

But I have to keep reminding myself. Apache is not Baby Doll.

Apache is…….Apache.

I decided last week, after I gave rides to both Jenna and Jeremiah all around the pasture, that I would have a ride, too. Apache had not been ridden since the ACTHA event last month and the day was rather windy, but she was calm, slow and quite lazy as I led her around giving pony rides to my kidlets. If she had been able to, she would have sleep-walked.

(Here’s a photo from last week, of Ranchman John and Jeremiah. Jenna was pouting because she wanted to ride Apache again)

After I slipped her bridle on, I mounted (without a mounting block, too. whoo!) on her right side, which she seems to prefer, and I’m grateful for, because of the weakness in my left knee. She stood still while mounting, and she stood still…………………until……well……….for a long time. I squeezed, I clucked, I kicked. I was able to get her to move in a circle, and finally even take a couple steps, but then she would just stand…still.

She wasn’t in a bad mood and she wasn’t irritated. I checked all of her tack and everything seemed to be fitting her comfortably, but Apache was just tired, lazy and didn’t want to move. Granted, I had led my kidlets around on her for almost an hour before I mounted, and yes the day was getting warmer, up into the upper 70’s, but all she had to done was walk. And even then I still had to tap her on the butt every so often, or the kidlets had to give her a squeeze or little kick, to make her walk. And all I expected her to do for me was walk around the pasture.

I was relieved that Apache wasn’t grouchy or dangerous, like Baby Doll could be when she didn’t want to leave the barn and work, but she sure was stubborn. So instead of tossing her head, jumping forward, backing up, and bucking……..Apache stood still.

                 (Jeremiah took the following photos)

With Baby Doll, I never ever used my legs on her to squeeze…and God forbid, to kick. She would have sent me to the moon! All I had to do was cluck and just think of moving forward, and she did.

I’ve never ridden a horse that just won’t move, although my twinling Jax did last year during a summer camp. The fat little horse was named Wolf, not because he was fierce, but because he wolfed down his food. And. it. showed. Jax would kick and squeeze and cluck and, if he was lucky Wolf might take two steps, and then stop. Jax said it wasn’t much fun.

While it’s nice that Apache isn’t very go, go, go……I’d like her to be a little bit more than just whoa, whoa, whoa.

I think we have a lot to work on.

I worked on flexing her from the saddle but her neck was rigid. We circled a lot. When she finally stood still, I was able to get her to flex in both directions, but she did it half-heartedly and half asleep…and not as soft as I would have liked.

It’s kind of funny now, that during our last ride together during the ATCHA event, her brakes were broken and twice she moved into an unasked for trot. Whoa didn’t work and neither did my seat or gently tugging my reins. She stopped on her own before I had to try a one-rein stop, though.

And then last week, her brakes were stuck in the down position, while the gas pedal was missing.

Oh and her power steering was all dried up, too. She wanted to stay up near the barn or down near my neighbor’s 4 horses. I’m using a Korsteel French-link D-Ring bit, but it felt like I was trying to steer a rhino.

I had similar problems with Baby Doll when I used the Dr. Cook’s Bitless Bridle, especially when she was barn sour and wanted to turn around and go home. She got very heavy with her head and we’d end up playing tug-o-war, with my neck, back and arms screaming afterwards.

The difference between Apache and Baby Doll is that Baby Doll would pin her ears, toss her head, crow-hop, buck or bolt to convince me let me have her way. While Apache just gets stubborn and refuses to move….at all.

            (Which makes for a safe Wiener Crossing)

I totally believe in ground work, and spent many hours doing ground work with Baby Doll. But it didn’t always carry over into the saddle. I know that Apache and I could use a lot more time doing ground work, especially to build our partnership together. She also has a few issues in regards to respecting space, too, but with our work together she has vastly improved. 

I’ve been reading articles, books, and watching videos (mostly Clinton Anderson and Mark Rashid) over the last few years, and they all seem helpful, until I try to duplicate them myself. As with the trailer refresher course that I worked on with Apache, I used most of what I learned from the instructor/clinicians, and then added a few techniques of my own. I’ve learned that, just like people, not all horses learn the same way, or have the same personality in regards to training techniques. I’ve also learned that PATIENCE. IS. THE. MOST. IMPORTANT. thing of all.

But still, the more I learn, the more I realize I don’t know.

   

Apache could have just been having a lazy day, but I want her to be a willing horse and a soft horse. I want to help Apache achieve this, so we can have fun together. I’m a pretty passive person and already don’t feel great about kicking my horse to move, even if it is just a tap on her sides, and I’m not too crazy about using a whip or crop, either.

She seems to go well in her French-Link D-Ring bit, but she went even better in the French-link D-Ring bit with short shanks that Colleen let me borrow. I wasn’t able to find a bit like that one, so I went with the simple D-Ring, but I don’t think this bit is helping me communicate with her as soft as I’d like. I don’t want to play tug-of-war with her head. And I want my hands to be soft, too.

As most of you know, her previous owner rode her in a Tom Thumb and a full nose tie-down. Her owner said she had to do this, because Apache had a rearing problem. I believe now that it was caused by a combination of the bit hitting her overgrown and painful teeth, and the confusing communication of the Tom Thumb bit.

Her previous owner said she had to use a crop to get Apache to move, but I just assumed that once I got her teeth floated and moved her down to a less harsh bit, Apache would be more compliant, softer and willing. 

Apache is a good girl, a sweet girl, but we have some things to work on. Anyone have any helpful ideas, tips, or advice?       

In a Tight Spot

 

As I was catching up on my friend Gail’s blog, At the Farm, I read a post with a prophetic and thought-provoking e-mail that she shared. Gail was relating it to what is going on her life, but I couldn’t help but question how it might relate to my own life, too.

(All Photos from my archives. My twinling, Jax riding Baby Doll in the round pen, last April)

~~"Life is not what you see, but what you've projected.  It's not what you've felt, but what you've decided. It's not what you've experienced, but how you've remembered it.  It's not what you've forged, but what you've allowed. And it's not who's appeared, but who you've summoned.  And this should serve you well  until you find, what you already have."~~

On Sunday, after I prepared Baby Doll’s breakfast in the tack room, I turned to step out of the tack room and came face to face with a horse’s head. It seems I forgot to latch the barn gate and Baby Doll had walked right in to see what I was up to in there.

 I cried out in surprise to find her standing there and moved her backwards, out of the doorway, by pointing my finger at her.

When I was able to step out of the tack room, I realized that my mare was facing the wrong direction to leave the barn, and the area that she was in is rather cramped and only about 7’ long x 4’ wide. I asked her to back up, but she was at the incorrect angle and just bumped her butt into the gate post and wall instead.

I began to get that panicked feeling, bringing back the memory of what happened this past summer, when my mare sat back, while tied, and broke the weld off our pipe railing, causing the pipe to slam me down onto the ground and break my knee.

I imagined her trying to back-up and then becoming upset and running forward, into me.

~“Life is not what you see, but what you've projected.”

“It's not what you've felt, but what you've decided. It's not what you've experienced, but how you've remembered it.”~

Baby Doll was very calm, though. As if she sensed that I was worried, and wanted me to know that she was not.   

In the past, before my horse-related injuries I wouldn’t have thought twice about moving my mare firmly out of the barn, but apparently I’ve not moved past my fears from what happened to me. And I strongly dislike feeling that kind of fear because it doesn’t feel natural to me. I don’t like that tightening of my chest, my heart racing, and the crazy butterflies in my stomach.

Somehow I got my senses under control enough to step to the side and into the aisle way of the barn, which is basically just a 2’ wide pathway between the pallets stacked with hay and the stalls. Looking back I am also surprised that Baby Doll had no interest in moving into that narrow area to steal some hay. She could have easily run over me to get in there.

She didn’t even seem all that eager to have her cup of of grain that I give her each morning. My mare just acted as if her only agenda was to be in that space with me.  Just to hang out. But in hindsight, I realize that I’ve not let my guard down to trust my horse since she hurt me last Christmas.

And at the time, I was too fearful of getting hurt and I wasn’t open to her gesture of closeness. I just wanted her out of my space so I could feel safe again.

~“It's not what you've forged, but what you've allowed.”~

Interestingly, I believe she sensed my uneasiness, and when I asked her verbally to turn around, she obediently complied. Then Baby Doll somehow managed to turn her large frame around tightly, and quietly in that small space and walk right out of the barn, where she stood waiting for me. Gazing at me, as though she was trying to tell me something important.

  

~"And it's not who's appeared, but who we have summoned. And this should serve you well, until you find, what you already have.”~