Relieving Stress

 

It’s been a a long few months without Ranchman John around. He’s still working at the Philadelphia Airport and we miss him. Not having him around has made us realize just how much he does to help around here. And without having any family nearby to offer their help, a lot of stuff that the kidlets or I can’t manage, gets put off and just doesn’t get done.

(Rising Moon. Photo taken from my bedroom balcony using my Canon PowerShot with zoom and flash)

But we’re managing well enough. Poor Ranchman John hasn’t found any affordable living arrangements and is still sleeping in his truck…….when it’s not too hot. Sometimes he’ll sleep in the airport or some friends, about an hour away, will invite him over to enjoy a home-cooked meal, a shower and a good night’s sleep in a real bed. So, really, the kidlets and I have nothing to complain about, except for wanting Ranchman John to come home soon so we can do stuff as a family again.

I’ll be 44 years old on September 4th and I’ve noticed as I get older, for a few days each month, right before Aunt Flo’s visit, I get cranky and irritable. For those of you who are that specific stage in your lives, is this a precursor to menopause?

              (Wildflowers alongside the trail)

I’m not a crazy person ranting and raving when I get this way. I just need time alone and not too much pressure or stuff to do. Thankfully my kidlets are great and know to give me some space and to offer their help around the house if needed. They get along great with one another and are always willing to help and do the things I ask. They also love to spend time together doing fun stuff, especially exploring new places, hiking and going letterboxing.

                       (Moss on a pine tree)

I find that the best thing for me to do when I’m feeling cranky and irritable is to get outside and be surrounded by nature. When I was a young girl my family went camping a lot and I’d always head out to go hiking with my dog as soon as we were all settled in to our campsite. I don’t know where I get my wanderlust and hiking interests because neither of my parents ever went hiking with me. But I’m glad this is something I can share with my kidlets.

Being out in nature is one of the major reasons I like horseback trail riding, too. Enjoying wildlife, plants, animals and beautiful scenery from a horse’s back is the perfect way to spend a day and fills me with joy. 

Letterboxing is also a terrific reason to get outside and explore new places, too. Solving the letterbox clues can be so satisfying, especially if there are some brain games involved. It can almost be as satisfying as finding the letterbox itself!

                                   (Moss on a pine tree)

I also enjoy the creative side of letterboxing in finding an image for a stamp, hand-carving the stamp, preparing the letterbox, and then coming up with a place to hide the letterbox and creating the clues for other letterboxers to go out and find it.

The other day we packed up our letterboxing stuff and headed just a few miles down the road to place a letterbox and to enjoy some hiking. The sky was cloudy when we left, but it didn’t start raining until we were out on the trails.

It never rained hard and the gentle rain was actually nice to hike in because it cooled everything off and ensured that we had most of the trails to ourselves, except for a man walking three dogs and small group of mountain bikers. Hoof prints were also on the trails that we hiked and we kept hoping to see some horses and riders, but they must have went home when it began raining.

We hiked several miles and got wet and a little muddy, but the trails were sandy, mostly flat and easy to hike because we were hiking on and around a ridge in the mountains at 7,700 feet elevation. We had a lot of fun together and our time exploring the hiking trails really lifted my spirits.

I’m so grateful I’m strong enough to hike and ride horses again. Last year there were times I was so frustrated and sad because of my injured knee and not having the ability to walk. I would often dream of the day when I’d be able to hike with my kidlets, and maybe even ride a horse again. I had hoped that it would happen, but I wasn’t always so sure.

But I had to believe it would happen because I need these activities in my life to bring me joy and happiness. 

When there are miles of beautiful trails to explore, new places to visit, letterboxes to find, exercise, fresh air and beautiful nature……how can anyone not feel better?

Do you enjoy hiking and/or trail riding, too? Do you find that being out in nature relieves your stress? Are your spirits lifted when you’re out hiking or riding your horse down the trail?

Feeling Buggy and a Knee Update

 

Jenna getting a bugs-eye view during a recent visit to the Natural History Museum in Albuquerque.

 

I’m trying to keep a positive attitude about my knee, but the worst thing is not being able to hang out with Apache. The ground is just too wet, greasy, and muddy and I’m too afraid of falling again. Sheesh! I work hard to move past my fears of riding, only to have to deal with fears of falling on muddy, icy ground. Bummer.

I’ve been able to do my chicken chores because the coop is beside the house, but it’s still quite treacherous with all the slippery mud and poo inside the coop. But I just hold onto the fence, hen house and the center pole while I’m in there.

(Photo taken this morning from Jenna’s window. Look to the right in that photo. We’ve got a little bit of green grass poking up. whoohoo!)

Ranchman John is doing a great job feeding Apache and all the barn animals. He likes to give Apache carrots and love on her, but I think she still looks lonely. I think her mouth has also been a little sore adjusting to her floating. She just has a sad look to her. It breaks my heart.

(photo taken this morning)

Last week, before the vet visit and before our recent snow storm, I was able to gimp out to the fence line and Apache walked down to me. I like how she’ll hang out with me for petting and cheek scratches, even if I don’t have any treats. Baby Doll rarely ever graced me with her royal presence once I was out of treats. She was fond of giving me The Butt when there were'nt any treats.

Apache is more of a pocket pony. I’m surprised at how much I like that, when all along I thought I liked more independent, and less clingy horse personality.

(Scout, my neighbor friend Val’s gelding, and Apache visiting)

Anyway, last week Shirley of Ride a Good Horse recommended a knee support for me. And instead of me wearing that bulky ‘Frankenstein’, full-length metal leg contraption the Doctor prescribed for me after my ACL surgery, I really need to wear some support while riding and when walking and hiking, too.

Shirley told me it’s made by Professional Choice, the same company that made my nice neoprene girth. The knee support is called Miracle Knee.

(Apache tells Scout, “Back off! Don’t be too fresh, Mister!”

I eagerly looked it up online, but couldn’t find it for less than $50.00. yikes! So I called my local feed/tack store and left a message on their answering machine. Mike and Lorraine are like family and run a small feed/tack store about 2 miles from our house. Ranchman John often just stop by to chat and catch up on all the goings-on. They have followed along on my horse journey and my injuries, as well as with Ranchman John’s employment woes and crazy job with the truck driving company. A couple times they even offered us a line of credit until paychecks started coming in. They are truly kind and generous folks. I just love them.

Well, they didn’t get back to me for a few days and I sort of forgot about it, but on Friday, Lorraine called and told me they had ONE left in their store, AND it was on sale for only $29.95! I was so thrilled!

 

We were in the middle of a snow storm, so I promised to pick it up the next day. I also wondered if Mike and Lorraine priced it so low just for me, because they obviously didn’t make any money off it’s sale. Did I mention what great folks they are?

Of course, they also know, that even though we live within 10 miles of 5 different tack/feed stores, we’ll always buy most of our feed, supplies and tack from them. The only item we don’t buy consistently from them is hay, because I’ve found a supplier that sells heavy, tightly-strung 3-string bales of the softest greenest grass hay, from California. And that guy delivers for free with at least 10 bales.

I digress. So, I tried on the Miracle Knee Support and was amazed at the amount of support it provided without any metal or stiff pieces inside. It is comfortable, too. I can wear it and forget that I’ve got it on! I’ve been walking for the past couple days without a crutch, even though my knee still feels unstable and gimpy. But with the Miracle Knee Support, I almost forget that my knee has anything wrong with it. I love it!

This is what the product details say:

“Now you can ride again without knee pain with the Miracle-Knee Support. In fact, the Miracle-Knee Support is great for any athletic event because it allows complete mobility at all levels of activity and reduces the effects of arthritis, damaged cartilage, sprains, or strains. Flexible medial and lateral stays provide side-to-side support for ligament instability. Moist heat therapy helps increase blood circulation and relaxes tight or sore muscles. Made of neoprene, the unique wrap design makes application easy and gives a perfect fit at the thigh and calf. The irritating pinching, binding and rubbing common to slip-on knee supports is eliminated due to the open back design. Worn over or under clothing, the Miracle-Knee Support enables you to comfortably return to work or play.”

Thanks to Shirley for letting me know about this Miracle Product!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, it’s 60F degrees today and most of our snow has melted. I’ve even got the windows open and I’m enjoying the warmth and the sounds of the birds singing. This is a photo I took this morning before the warmer temps melted most of that snow.

Unfortunately, the weather folks are predicting another big snowstorm, with ‘moderate to heavy accumulation’ to blow in on Wednesday.

(Apache and Yalla!, Val’s cute Arabian filly, born last summer)

   

I’m savoring this little taste of warm spring weather as long as I can.

This One Packed a Mean Punch

 

Saturday was a beautiful, sunny warm day with temps in the low 60’s.

This is how we spent our day

Just hanging out with Apache.

Sunday started off the same way. Sunny and warm, but slightly breezier than Saturday. I spent most of Sunday outside with Apache and our other barn critters. But by Sunday afternoon, the winds picked up, the sky got dark and snowflakes began falling……..and falling…and falling.

By Sunday evening we already had at least 5” of heavy, wet snow on the ground. Did I mention I’m so fed up with snow and winter?

Ranchman John had encouraged Apache to eat her hay in the barn earlier on Sunday and she seemed happy to get in there out of the wind, but she’s still getting used to all the strange sounds in there, like the creaking and whistling, and the noisy banging from the goats as they eat, and the llamas’ snuffling and humming. Apache would get startled and run out, but she’d eventually come back in to munch her hay.

I watched the barn from the house as it started to hail. It hit the metal roof on the barn and I know how the sounds can be a cacophony of loud noise when you’re inside. Poor Apache flew out of the barn from all that noise, out into the pelting hail.

I threw on my coat and boots and went up there to check on her and with some encouragement she came up to me from the other side of the pasture and walked with me back into the barn. I hung out with her for about 20 minutes as she ate and watched as the hail turned into blowing snow, a white-out. I finally trudged back down the hill towards the house.

The snow didn’t seem all that slippery and I wasn’t having any problems with traction, but all of a sudden, my right foot slipped…….and down I went on my butt.

That wouldn’t have been so bad except my left foot stayed in place, so when I fell, it was still rooted into the ground, which meant that my poor knee was forced into a hyper extreme flex as my butt came into contact with the back of my left boot! OUCH!!!! The pain took my breath away as I felt something in my knee make a crunching sound.

I sat in the snow for a moment to assess the damage, as the snow blew even harder and thicker around me. I realized I had to get up and walk back to the house as no one would hear me if I called for help. And if I was gone for a long while Ranchman John would just figure I was in the barn hanging out with Apache.

I stood up and boy did it hurt! So I just took slow small limping steps back down to the pasture gate, praying that I wouldn’t fall again.

I finally made it back down to the house without falling and when I got back inside, I asked my twinlings to bring me my crutches and some Ibuprofen. My left knee was already starting to swell. I still managed to finish cooking spagetti for my family, but afterwards I scooted up the stairs on my butt to my bedroom.

Back in my tower again…..sigh.

The rest of the night I rested in bed with ice on my knee. This is what it looked like last night.

(Don’t mind the furry legs. They keep me warm in the winter.)

This morning it’s even more swollen, but I can bend it, but not as far as usual because of the swelling, but at least there’s no pain when I bend it. I can also extend my leg out with no pain and I can also bear some weight without pain, too. But the knee feels weak and very sore.

I hope I didn’t do anything to the ACL reconstruction area or any other ligaments. Ranchman John thinks maybe I sprained or strained something. I also wonder if maybe that the extreme flexion from when my knee was bent so suddenly, caused some scar tissue from the surgery to tear, which I think would be a good thing, even though it’s pretty painful at first.

All I can do is rest, take anti-inflammatory meds, apply ice and do some light flexing exercises so the knee doesn’t tighten up. I’m truly thankful that Ranchman John is home to take care of the animals, along with the kidlets, until all this snow melts and my knee heals. He already has a soft spot for Apache, so I know she’ll get plenty of attention, even though I’m going to miss her something fierce!

And all this time I was worried about falling off a horse and reinjuring my knee, and instead I fall in the snow. Are you all keeping tabs?

                 (The view from my bedroom balcony this morning)

This would be the third time that I’ve injured this same knee. If bad things really do come in three’s, this should mean my dues are paid. Right? …….right?    

Well, just when I thought my days of picture-taking from my tower were over……….a Spring snow storm did me in.

These are the chairs and table on my bedroom balcony.

Oh look. 8” high pillowtop chairs. How nice and comfy.

The sun was coming up across the valley. But the clouds moved in soon afterwards, and nipped that little bit of warmth right in the bud.

The view from Jenna’s window. The heavy wet snow ripped apart the hawk netting over the chicken coop. Poor chickens will be stuck inside all day today anyway.

 

Zuni doesn’t mind the snow at all. In fact I’d wager to say that she wouldn’t mind if we had snow all year. (Bite my tongue!)

                      Ranchman John greeting Apache.

 

                                    So sweet.

Watching your man love on your horse is almost as precious as watching him love on your kids.

 

Sure wish I could be up there getting some horse lovin’, too.

 

Apache heads into the barn as Ranchman John walks back down the hill. I think she likes him.

 

Apache gives her opinion of this rotten, sneaky snowstorm.

                       Pppblltprrfftt! Patooie!

 

  

                  Looks like Rapunzel is back.

Extreme Snowy Mountain Cowgirl Club

 

This is the third and final installment, sharing my experiences and thoughts from the Walk/Trot/Canter/Trail Ride class I participated in last weekend, on Saturday.

 

As I spoke about in my last post, Colleen took a larger group of us out for a relatively easy ride over the flats and gentle rolling hills on the northwestern side of the property. We rode for about an hour over there and then when we came back, she offered an additional, optional ride on the more ‘difficult’ rugged southern and eastern sides of the property. Four of the riders decided they had ridden long enough, so we went back to the arena and we rode around in there for a few minutes and then rode back to the stables so they could get their horses un-tacked and put away.

I was very surprised that Rosie’s rider, L, decided not to join us for the more challenging trail ride. I rode her on those same trails just last month. Rosie’s so easy to ride and would have been the perfect way to help rebuild her confidence. L owns an Arabian mare and hasn’t been able to ride her for many months due to working so much. And when she has tried, her mare has acted up and been difficult and scary to ride. She said several times to me that she enjoyed riding Rosie, but that Rosie also scared her a little. And when I’d look back at her during the trail ride, she’d have Rosie’s reins pulled up tight while saying ‘whoa!’. Rosie does mosie along really slow at the walk, but she sometimes likes to trot and catch up when she gets too far behind, but she’s fun and she moves so smoothly. And there is the issue of Rosie not liking any other horses, which some folks might get concerned about when a horse pins their ears, looks back and gives the stink-eye, while growling at another horse. Yep. That’s Rosie. hehe!

I didn’t mind it as long as I could just ride at the back of the line of riders. I actually prefer to ride on my own anyway. I always enjoyed my rides on Baby Doll where it was the two of us. I think it’s easier to focus on my horse and not get distracted by conversations with other people and their horses (especially if their horses are acting up). I like to get into a sort of riding zone (zen?), too. I get really quiet and some folks might think something’s wrong, but I’m really just focusing and enjoying myself.

(That’s a photo I took from Rosie’s back, below, from one of our recent trail rides)

 

Anyway, when L decided not to ride the more challenging trails, Colleen asked me if I wanted to trade Atta Bay and ride Rosie instead.

I thought about it for a brief minute and then told Colleen that I’d rather ride Atta Bay.

I think she may have been a little surprised, but I think I surprised myself even more. I could have ridden Rosie and been able to just relax on the second half of the trail ride. I could have just pulled out my camera and shot some video and taken some photos from her broad back, while she motored on through the snow and mud.

But I didn’t feel that Atta Bay was too much horse for me. Heck, Baby Doll was a bigger handful and more of a challenge than Atta Bay had been by far.

Yes, I could have just simply taken the easy way out and rode sweet Rosie, but I wanted to prove to myself that I could ride Atta Bay, especially on the more technically challenging trails. And obviously, Colleen had faith that I could handle the spirited Atta Bay, so I wasn’t going to let her down either.

(This photo cracks me up. At the time, Colleen was trying to get everyone lined up for a photo, and Atta Bay decided that standing still for a photo was just no fun. So we danced and circled, and she tossed her head around for a couple of minutes until I got fed up with her impatience and I growled at her, “CUT IT OUT!….STAND!” Colleen laughed and said, “There ya go! You know how to talk to my horses!”

I used to growl at Baby Doll all the time, but she would argue right back. But I guess Atta Bay took me seriously because afterwards she behaved and stood still until we were done with photos. haha!)

 

Well, when we were done with photos, our little riding group rode up and down ridges and through and around groves of trees, slogging through the snow and mud.

We had a great time and everyone got excited when I added the word ‘Extreme’ to our unofficial riding club’s name of: The Snowy Mountain Cowgirl Club. We whooped and hollered and yipped and yeehawed!

Atta Bay spooked a little bit at all the noise and commotion, but it was no big deal, nothing like Baby Doll’s bolting and teleportation spookings. And the only mishap that happened during the ride was when Colleen’s horse, one of the rescues from the ranch, got a little too close to a cholla cactus, leaving behind some sharp thorns in Colleen’s knee. ouch!

I was really impressed with one of the other riders, C. She adopted a sweet gelding from Walkin N Circles Horse Rescue, named Caesar. Even though he struggles with constant medical issues due to having cancerous growths on his ear, she and her husband fell in love with him. She took him out on our Oak Flats ride last month. She was one of the riders who fell, when Caesar slipped. C knows how much he loves to canter on trail rides and she lets him have fun, while she does too. He’s the horse I took one of my favorite photos of, back in October during the ACTHA Halloween Trail Ride. C and Caesar were volunteering as Trail Safety Crew members during that ride. I just happened to look down and see them standing there inside the arena and grabbed my camera. I love this photo!

 

You can also see him in our group photo, too. He’s the horse at the far right, with the shaved areas on his neck. That’s me on Atta Bay on the far left.

 

Saturday’s class was really beneficial for me. And the 2 1/2 hour trail ride on a new and more challenging horse makes me realize that I CAN do this. I don’t have to give up on my dreams. When I’m riding horses, it just feels right. I feel like I’m where I belong.

And after a tiring trail ride with a horse that tested my mettle, I felt an incredible sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, and as I drove the long, twisting, hilly road home……………the smile never left my face.

 

Thanks for following along during this 3-part series and sharing my personal journey. Many of you have been with me from the very beginning, when I bought my mare Baby Doll, and during all of my challenges with her. And you were around when I fell off my horse and had to endure surgery, pain, frustration and even a second injury caused by my mare. And you’ve followed along even when I couldn’t ride for a year during my rehabilitation and healing.

You all were there for me, with your words of encouragement and kudos when I finally got back up on my mare for the first time, too. And then you were there providing words of understanding and support after I finally made the tough decision to find a new home for Baby Doll. You’ve all been here with me cheering me on in my journey back to horse riding again, too. I can’t even begin to express how much y’all mean to me. I know that I have determination and take my goals seriously, but I don’t think I could have come this far without all of my blogger friends’ support, encouragement and camaraderie.

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart!    

Spook, Trot, and Canter…..Oh My!

This is the second installment of a 3-part post, sharing my experiences and thoughts, from the Walk/Trot/Canter/Trail Ride Class I participated in on Saturday.

Atta Bay is probably more in line with the type of horse I’m looking to buy. Even though she’s more challenging, she’s fun, too. She’s much happier out on the trails exploring and doesn’t much care for arena work at all. I never got to trot Atta Bay, on my own inside the arena, because when I asked her for a trot, she rushed forward, crow-hopped, threw her head in the air, and rammed her front feet into the ground. So we walked.

I was so disappointed and couldn’t help but wistfully watch L riding Rosie at a walk, and wishing I were trotting her around the arena instead.

But Colleen hooked me onto a lunge line and she did manage to help me get Atta Bay into a trot, but it wasn’t pretty. Because we were trotting in such a tight circle, I had a difficult time posting because of the centrifugal force and the weakness in my gimpy knee. So after 10 minutes we called it quits.

(Please ignore that left foot. I’m still having issues with keeping the heel down on my injured leg. It just doesn’t stretch and flex the same way it used to. beh!)

(Oh! And, don’t laugh. I look like a puffy Michelin Man because I’m wearing a long sleeve shirt, a fleece turtleneck sweater, a fleece hoodie and an insulated denim jacket. I was toasty warm, though. hehe!)

 

But after lunch, we took an hour long trail ride out on the flats and gentle rolling hills around the northwest side of the property, and then we rode back to the arena to drop off some of the other riders who decided they didn’t want to ride some of the more challenging trails on the southern and eastern sides of the property.

The rest of us, a small group of just 5, headed out onto those trails, and when we arrived at the Eventing Field, which is basically just a huge field of about 40-50 acres with jumps, a water challenge and an obstacle course, we all talked about doing some trotting and cantering. Colleen asked if I would be comfortable trotting or cantering, and I said sure! I didn’t know if Atta Bay would be willing, but when the other horses began trotting and then cantering, I asked Atta Bay to trot and she did. Quietly and willingly. I even got her up into a canter several times. And it was so fun!

Our little group cantered and trotted over that entire field, up and down steep hills, down into the obstacle course and then through the trees surrounding the field. What a blast!

Of course, I paid for it Saturday night with those sore shoulders and back muscles. But when Atta Bay is out of the arena, she seems more willing to go faster and is much smoother. I was rather envious of Christine’s new gaited gelding and Loetta’s Paso Fino mare. How nice to just sit up there with no jarring motions from the horse, while you hardly even move.

But I could tell that Atta Bay had fun, too. She much prefers to be out on a trail ride than stuck in an arena. Me, too! hehe!

Ok, so what other challenges did I conquer?

Well, as I’ve mentioned before I still use a 3-step mounting block to get up on a horse. Between my hip dysplasia and my gimpy knee, I just can’t mount easily and quickly without discomfort, to me and to the horse.

But after lunch on Saturday, everyone wanted to saddle up the horses at the stables and not go back to the indoor arena, which is where I left my mounting block. There were several large boulders around the stables, probably left there not just for decoration I assume. They were the perfect size and height for using as a mounting block. But I’ve not done anything like that in over a year.

Christine, a friend and fellow horse rescue volunteer, wanted to use one for mounting, too. So she encouraged me to try mounting from one. She even offered to hold Atta Bay while I did it. I must admit that I was terrified at first. The kind of fear that makes you freeze up like a deer in the headlights. But with Christine’s support and me yanking up my big girl panties, I finally hauled myself up there from that boulder. Whoohoo! That was a huge step for me as I’ve been so reliant on my mounting block that it was actually holding me back from trying other forms of mounting assistance.

Another big challenge I overcame that day was my fear of a horse moving sideways. I fell off Baby Doll over a year ago when she teleported sideways very quickly 5-8 feet. That incident cost me a painful surgery to replace a severed ACL and a year of healing and rehabilitation. And I’m still not 100%.

So, you can imagine how fearful I am about any horse that I’m riding, that jumps or steps sideways very quickly.

Well, this is what happened on Saturday. Our original group of 9 riders and horses stood mounted outside the arena, waiting for the huge garage style door of the arena to roll up, when all of a sudden the sound of the door rolling up so quickly startled and spooked everyone’s horses. I happened to be the closest to the door actually, and Atta Bay danced sideways into a snow-filled ditch, but I had control of her and never felt afraid. I know! It shocked me, too! I even started laughing afterwards. Although I think it was just because I realized I was still in the saddle and not on the ground instead. haha!

Colleen happened to see what happened and congratulated me and seemed to be happy with the way I handled the situation, too. Whoohooo!

(Check out that look on Atta Bay’s face. lol! She was not happy. She was very impatient to leave the arena and follow the rest of the group outside on the trail ride. But one of the other riders offered to take my photo, so I hung back and told that mare to ‘Hold your Horses, Girlie!”)

To Be Continued…………….

 

 

Driving an Automatic Equine ~vs~ a Manual Equine

 

This first installment is the beginning of a 3-part post, sharing my experiences and thoughts about the Walk/Trot/Canter/Trail Ride Class I participated in on Saturday.

What a monumental day it was for me. I forged ahead conquering many personal obstacles, including fear, self-confidence issues, self-doubt, and even overcoming some physical challenges, too. I learned some new things about myself along the way, as well.

Upon arriving at Cedar Hill Farm, everyone got their horses tacked up beside the trailers, and walked the horses over to the indoor arena, where we were to first warm up our horses at a walk. I brought my mounting block and used that for mounting. I have to admit I just couldn’t connect with Atta Bay, even though she was sweet on the ground. I I kept eye-balling Rosie with her rider, L, and wishing I had Rosie to ride instead. This desire to ride Rosie and my later decision, when offered the choice to change mounts, would prove to be quite a surprise for me.

Rosie seemed happy to see me, even before I gave her the cookies I brought, too. But Rosie had a job to do, helping her new rider regain her self-confidence, and my horse for the day was Atta Bay, so I gave her a cookie, too.

        (There’s Rosie in the background behind Atta Bay)

I immediately noticed a difference between riding Atta Bay and riding Rosie. If I had to compare what it felt like, I’d have to compare Atta Bay to a Manual Transmission vehicle, while Rosie would be an Automatic vehicle.  With Rosie, I could basically just set her on Cruise Control and sit back and enjoy the ride. She’d get me where I wanted to go, with only a few steering adjustments and a tap on the gas to speed up a little.

Whereas with Atta Bay, she expects to be actively driven by her driver. No sitting around just enjoying the scenery while she does all the work. She doesn’t just obediently follow the line of equine cars rolling along in front of her either. Atta Bay expects to be quietly and firmly ‘shifted’ and steered, or she’ll wander off in another direction, or into a tree (just to make sure her driver is paying attention).

While I’d compare Rosie to a reliable, tough Chevy Suburban, I’d compare Atta Bay to a spunky, little Volkswagen Bug. Rosie will stand around and wait (and even take a nap) until her driver is ready to go or gives a signal, while Atta Bay wants to go, go go! No standing around for that girl. No sirree!

                               Who Me?

So, you can imagine that I was kept quite busy ‘driving’ Atta Bay on Saturday and I don’t have any fun videos of me from Atta Bay’s back while on the trail ride or of our trotting and cantering. Oh and speaking of Atta Bay’s trotting and cantering. Wow. So much different than Rosie’s cute little smooth trot. Atta Bay rides a lot like Baby Doll did in a trot….rough! It feels more like Atta Bay is using her front legs as a jackhammer or trying to pound posts into the ground. Whew! I had seriously sore shoulders, back and neck on Saturday night.

Oh! And my arms and wrists were sore, too. Because Atta Bay wants to be sure her driver is an active participant at all times, she likes to argue a little bit about the choice of directions, or why we’re stopping when she never saw any red lights or stop signs anywhere.

She’s not as argumentative as my Baby Doll was, though. She doesn’t get nasty about it, nor does she crow hop, spin or try to run backwards or take off. She just tries to pull her head in the direction she wants to go to convince her driver that that is the correct way to go. It doesn’t take all that much convincing that her driver knows best, though.

I think I know now why Colleen chose Atta Bay for me to ride. And not only because another rider needed to ride Rosie, but because I’ll never learn to be a better rider if I only ride horses like Rosie. And on the opposite end, I’ll never learn to be a good rider if I ride a horse like Baby Doll either.

There’s a fine line between riding a horse that challenges you and riding a horse that scares the crap out of you. On a horse that terrifies you, you’ll forget that riding is fun and you’ll slowly lose your self confidence, while replacing it with fear.

That’s what was happening with Baby Doll and I. And the end result was extremely painful.

But riding a horse like Atta Bay, while challenging and certainly not a walk-in-the-park, is also satisfying, exciting and a great learning experience, along with building self-confidence, too.

   Atta Bay in her pen taking a break while I ate lunch

 

To be Continued………………..

 

 

 

Letting Go of the Rope

 

(This is a very long post, so if you’re ready to sit down and read, be sure to use the potty first, grab a beverage and a snack, too) (The song I chose for this post is by Jennifer Hanson: “Beautiful Goodbye”, followed by Nickelback: “Far Away”)

“There are times when we are dealing with horses and/or people and life in general, that things just go wrong in a hurry. And while we are taught to be determined, and ‘stay the course’, if it is putting us in danger of being hurt, it is ok sometimes to just ‘let go of the rope’. Take a second to regroup and either try again, or in some cases move on.“

~ Quote by Fern Valley Appaloosas

 

For me, it was time to move on……………….

I did have a close bond with my mare. We had been through a lot together, both good and very, very bad. I was familiar with her and knew the worst that she would do. That should have made me feel safer, but it didn’t.
I realized that she could hurt me and I knew she could be unpredictable and spooky. And I was aware that Baby Doll demanded a very strong, confidant leader because of how how stubborn, independent and how much of an alpha mare she was.

 

I finally admitted that I was not able to be the alpha that she needed and demanded.

Even though she has taught me a lot in the 2 years that I owned her, Baby Doll was my first horse.  She was supposed to be my Forever Horse. But she was a challenge I think I knew, from the very start, that I was not cut out for.

Many emotions were moving through me the day that I sat up on her back again, the day after Christmas, a year after I fell off of her and severed my ACL.

The biggest emotion I felt was relief. I had conquered my fear and had got back up on the horse that seriously injured me, not once, but twice. I also felt satisfied.

I didn’t have any desire to get back up on her again. I knew in my heart I could never fully trust her again. I was finished and felt complete.

I had come to the realization that Baby Doll had the power to cause me to quit riding horses forever. Between the physical injuries, the emotional scarring, the loss of self-confidence and the the fear of her hurting me yet again, I had no desire to ride her anymore.

 

My mare and I had come full circle together. I fell in love with her as we bonded in the beginning, but then after the multiple injuries caused by her, I wanted Baby Doll gone and could barely stand the sight of her. And finally, in the end, we had re-built that bond and affection for one another again.

Which only made it so much harder to say goodbye.

 

But maybe that's the way it was supposed to be.

 

She was and always will be my ‘heart’ horse and I love her so much it hurts deeply to the center of my core, and I've cried oceans of tears over giving her up.  But, she caused me too much sadness, frustration and pain.

I finally came to the realization that I'm not the only person who can provide a good home for my horse. And I understand now that it was selfish of me to think that only I could provide the best home for her. Keeping her because I love her, and didn’t want to give her up was not in my mare’s best interests. She deserved more than that.

 

 

A blog post over at Mugwump Chronicles ~" Do we love them too much" really struck a  chord with me and helped me to finally move forward.

Baby Doll requires a confidant, strong alpha to ride her and I knew I could not be that kind of rider for her. It hurts to admit that, but the truth often does.....

 

 

Baby Doll knew how to act to scare me and other riders so she could get out of working. She wasn't a mean horse and never tried to purposefully throw me off. She just did little things, like the crow-hops, head tossing, ears pinned, jigging, spinning, etc. Quite a few people warned me or showed concern that Baby Doll was probably not the best horse for me, but it wasn’t until this past year, that I finally realized and accepted that it was true.

 

Some people tried to be helpful and gave me lots of great advice over the past 2 years, and sometimes conflicting advice. I think some folks just expected me to fix something that was way over my head and that I just didn’t have the experience to fix. It's like giving someone a book on brain surgery and telling them, that after they’ve read it, to go ahead and attempt to operate on a brain. Ummmm, it would not be pretty.

I had my mare listed for sale a number of times over the past year, and I had many inquiries and a number of people ride her, but none seemed to be the perfect fit.  I had Baby Doll checked out and she was healthy, strong and had no serious issues except a little mild arthritis in her right hock. She had no cataracts, no pain, no ribs out, and didn't require any chiro adjustments, though she did receive a nice equine massage. Her teeth didn’t even have any sharp points.  Baby Doll was in good condition and all the saddles we tried on her fit well, too.

Last Thursday, a young married couple, B & T, came over to meet Baby Doll and possibly buy her for the husband, T. The wife, B, has been riding since she was in diapers and had been active in 4H, rodeo, and reining events. The husband, T, has been riding for over 4 years and works at a cattle ranch every summer. They both attend college in Portales, NM though they call Texas their home.

(This photo is from the vet clinic after Baby Doll passed her Vet Check. This is the last photo I took of her. She was very tired as it had been a busy day. But she still had a 3 hour ride in the trailer to get to her new home that night)

B has her reining horse mare to ride and T had been riding their 24 year old gelding, but he was getting too arthritic to even load into the trailer and became too tired on the trails.

I felt good that Baby Doll might end up as a ‘Husband Horse’ because she had always done better when Ranchman John rode her and she seemed to respect men more than women, too. In fact Ranchman John had wanted to keep Baby Doll as his horse, but he’s just too busy to ride and in two years had only ridden her twice.  He loves having horses around, but his focus isn’t on learning how to ride, like T’s focus is.

When the young couple showed up on Thursday, I made sure they knew that Baby Doll had not been ridden for over 7 months and she had gotten spoiled and lazy and tended to be barn sour. B had no issues with having to give Baby Doll a tune-up and put her back to work if they bought her.

When the husband and wife each first got up on Baby Doll, she tried her usual tricks: the belligerent head tossing, pissy pinned ears and the defiant crow-hops and then tried to pull them to the barn so she could convince them to dismount. But I was impressed. They had her number and weren't impressed or intimidated by her attitude at all. They rode her with experience and confidence and within 20 minutes Baby Doll gave in and cooperated. It was beautiful. 

I also liked that they were happy to try Baby Doll’s Dr. Cook’s Bitless Bridle after realizing that she wasn’t able to relax in the snaffle bit. They were already planning on buying a new Dr. Cook’s Bitless Bridle for Baby Doll once they got her home, too.

I was also touched to see T give Baby Doll a hug several times on both Thursday and Saturday. Both B & T spent some time grooming her and getting to know her, too.

(This photo is from the vet clinic. T was so excited to put the new black halter on Baby Doll that he had bought her.)

They drove the 3 hours back down to Portales that night, but called me the next day to say they really liked Baby Doll and wanted to come back on Saturday to ride her again and have her full vet check completed on Saturday afternoon.

It was really muddy around here, the boot-sucking kind, but I let them take Baby Doll out on some back roads and trails around our house and they walked, trotted and loped her all over the place.

She tried some more of her defiant tricks a few times, but they were in vain. T just made her work harder. He had already fallen in love with my mare and I could already see a relationship forming between them. I felt sad, but also relieved and happy. It was rather bittersweet, actually.

And he loved her spunky attitude, too. When Baby Doll tried to run off with him, he laughed and made her run faster. It was just what Baby Doll needs. I would have probably taken her back home had she pulled the same thing with me, especially after my injuries that she caused.

(A photo from the vet clinic, just before we unloaded her to go through her Vet Check)

I had to wait a year to find the best home to sell my mare to, and I ended up taking a big loss in the sale, but knowing that she's in a situation that’s a better fit for her is worth that loss.

I’ve been wanting to blog about this all week, but I’ve just been too sad and the words just wouldn’t come out. I’m still finding it difficult to go up to the barn and take care of my other animals right now. Without Baby Doll or any horses up there, it's just a sad place to be. Thankfully John has taken over that job for now. I think I've got a case of  'empty barn syndrome' .

As for Rosie, she’s not for sale. My friend Colleen uses her for her trail riding business, and as everyone knows it’s not easy to find a calm, gentle, forgiving, patient horse that anyone can ride. So, yes Rosie is worth her weight in gold.

I do want to find a horse similar to Rosie, though. Rosie made me realize that I never really felt safe or confidant on Baby Doll and because of her I had almost lost my joy of riding.

Riding is supposed to be enjoyable, and I've had lots of fun riding Rosie. She’s so intuitive that she actually seems to know just how much energy to give you and what you're ready for. I remember the first time I asked her to trot. She hesitated and seemed to be asking me, "Are you sure you're ready?" And when I clucked a second time, off she went, slowly and in a controlled manner.

Baby Doll never did that. She took off in a trot like a crazy camel and jack-hammered her front end until my back and neck ached. I never had fun trotting Baby Doll. In fact I never knew that trotting or loping could be fun at all. All the horses I've ridden in the past have been ranch, rental horses or friend's horses and we usually just walked down a trail. Rosie made me realize that riding faster can be fun, and I’m looking forward to more!

(This photo is from the clinic from two weekends ago. Rosie and I are the third horse and rider from the left)

But I will always have a special place in my heart for my beautiful Baby Doll. I will be keeping in touch with her new owners and hope to visit Baby Doll this summer. I’m glad that she has a new beginning for her life and I have faith that B &T will dote on her and take good care of her while being consistent and firm and providing her the best life any horse could ever ask for.

But I sure will miss her, just the same……..