Why I am Very Thankful….and How We got to Where We Are.

 

(To read the beginning of this post click: THANKFUL)
This has been the most difficult part of our story to write. It was even more challenging to live it.

But being that it’s Thanksgiving Day, and we sure have so much to be thankful for, this seems to be the best day for me to gather my thoughts and finally get the words typed………………..

When we packed up our three kidlets, one cat, and four rabbits and drove from South Carolina back to New Mexico in early 2006, the economy was already in a tail spin. Jobs were scarce and even harder to come by for a man with a Traumatic Brain Injury.

We had no family in New Mexico, and only a few family members scattered across the country. My husband’s parents died before we had children and he grew up an only-child. My Mother died when I was only 8 years old and I was an only-child, too. We both grew up in military households, so we we were raised to be independent and self-sufficient. We have a lot in common. But our backgrounds, sure didn’t make our lives any easier……except to keep us strong.

There were times we had no food on our table. And there were times that we were so sick of beans and rice we thought we would gag trying to swallow it down. We vowed that when our financial situation improved and we we’re finally able to donate money and food we would be sure to make sure the food wasn’t expired and it wasn’t food that our family just wanted to get rid of because it had been on the shelf for so long, or no one liked the taste of it.

I vowed in the future to pay attention and notice the Mother and her children, playing at McDonalds. When her children asked for something to eat, I would listen to her whispering to her children, “I’m sorry, but we don’t have money today”, and I would reach into my wallet and discreetly offer her a ten……and a hug if she wanted it.

I also vowed in the future to always remember to donate our outgrown clothing to charities, instead of trying to sell them and make a few bucks, because I know first hand what it is like not being able to afford to buy new clothes for my children.

And I vowed to remember to include families, whom I know are struggling to provide, in activities my own family does, especially offering them transportation. Because I know what it feels like to be stuck at home without enough gas in my car to drive to the end of my street.

But through our struggles we learned some very important lessons along the way and they helped make us stronger, too.

One of the lessons we learned was how important it is to accept help no matter how proud we feel. Our family learned to be humble and to accept the fact that we can’t always go it on our own.

Another lesson we learned is how generous and kind many people are.

Christmas 2006 was going to be very meager for our family, and there wasn’t any extra money for Christmas gifts that year. But one afternoon, we heard a knock at the door and when we went to answer it, no one was there. Instead there was a huge cardboard box, wrapped in a bright red ribbon, sitting on our front porch. Yes, my children there really is a Santa Claus.

It was quite the surprise, because, besides the local food pantry, our attorneys, and our church, no one knew how badly we we’re struggling to provide for our family. (And speaking of attorneys, our attorneys were awesome! They sent our kidlets Christmas gifts that year, too: Two sleds for my sons and a Princess outfit for my daughter. I learned that not all attorneys are sharks.)

But that Christmas was joyful indeed, and not just for all the wonderful Christmas presents those generous and kind souls gave us, but because we knew we were cared about and we had hope that 2007 would be a better year for our family.

(Jem and Jax in front of our Rio Rancho, NM house Christmas, 2006)

 

We also learned that no matter how financially sound you think you are, even with a year’s worth of mortgage and bill payments tucked away in savings, everything can be lost from just one tragedy, like an auto accident or major injury.

We learned to lock up the credit cards and never pay for anything on credit. We learned that if you can’t pay cash for something, you can’t afford it, and don’t need it.

When our settlement finally came through, almost three years after the accident that almost took the lives of my husband and two sons, we made the wisest decision of our lives to pay off all of our bills, including medical bills, loans, and mortgage. And when we were ready to start over again, we simplified our lives, moved to the country, and paid cash for our new house. We tucked away money in savings and we made sure to tuck more money away for future college costs for our kidlets. While most people would use their settlement money to go on expensive vacations or go on extravagant shopping sprees, we chose to make a huge and lasting lifestyle change instead.

But what led us to this particular lifestyle in the country?

In April 2007, on a homeschooling message board, we read about a family in Benson, AZ who wanted to take a vacation to Holland to visit their relatives, but needed a house and pet sitter to come down for 10 days. They couldn't offer any money for our services, but they offered us their home to use as a base camp to explore Southern Arizona, so for us it was sort of like a hotel trade. We had been so broke and so house-bound for so long, a vacation appealed to us, and there were lots of Letterboxes to look for in that area, too. So, with some financial relief from our lawyers, we were finally were able to afford gas to travel again. And as most everyone who reads my blog knows, we love animals, so we offered to help this family, and soon made our way to Arizona. You can read more about that visit, with lots of photos: Arizona

We had a great visit and our time spent on this family’s rural little country ranch with all their wonderful animals made me realize that our family needed a lifestyle change. Ranchman  John and I soon began discussing our future living arrangements.

I guess we did such a good job pet and house sitting, that the family in Arizona asked if we’d come down again, a few months later, in late June. We enjoyed our first visit to southern Arizona so much, we agreed and drove back down. I did a number of posts about that second visit on my other blog. Feel free to check it out: Arizona 

(Can I just say now, though, that southern Arizona is hotter than Hades in the summer? Miserable, I tell ya! Someone once told me, “Oh it’s not that bad. It’s a dry heat.” Sticking your head in a 115 degree oven is a dry heat, too. But I bet you won’t want to keep it in there for very long! It’s difficult to breathe in all that dry heat. Suffice it to say, I will never live in Southern Arizona during the summer!)

When we got back home, we discovered that things looked “different” to us. When we built our rural house 9 years earlier, the entire neighborhood had less than 100 homes and was across the street from a dairy farm and surrounded by wide open mesa. When we told people where we were moving to, they looked at us like we were nuts to move out to the boondocks, so far away from everything.

But when we moved back in to our neighborhood, just 7 years later, there were over a thousand homes built in our neighborhood, there was a shopping center built beside it, a Home Depot on the other side, an Indian Casino across a busy highway, and the dairy farm was gone…..soon to be replaced by a Walmart Super Store.

If you want to read my feelings about this and see a photo, Click to read my feelings about our old neighborhood. 

It was time to move.

To be continued…….

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

(Jenna at 4 yrs old pondering huge thoughts about our delicious deep-fried turkey)