The Promise-Breaker, Fake Friend

This particular fake friend was only in my life for less than a year. I met Latana in early 2013 through Facebook when I was looking for places to stay with horses down near White Sands National Monument for a group riding weekend that I had planned. Latana offered her place to me and my friends and even offered to ride along with us and provide a trail guide at White Sands. She quickly integrated herself into my group of friends and friended all of them on Facebook. And I included her in all of the rides I organized and she drove the several hours from her place to participate. I even invited her up to stay at my place one weekend so I could show her some of my favorite trails. During that weekend, I held a campfire in her honor, but she sequestered herself inside her camper with a family member she had invited up for the evening, and only showed up, after much pleading, for a few minutes and then complained about how much she disliked the S'Mores that we had provided for her. Barb was one friend who had come over that evening to visit with Latana and said it was rude that Latana couldn't at least sit with us by the fire and visit.

In early December 2013, my former friend, Barb had asked me if I would go with her to White Sands National Monument so she could ride there for her birthday. She probably wouldn't have asked me to go with her, but her husband couldn't go and she needed a place to stay down there and she had never met Latana and didn't feel comfortable staying at Latana's house by herself. So, I agreed to go with her. I never realized what a negative person Barb was until we did that road trip together. The weather wasn't all that nice that weekend and was windy and cold. We ended up not riding out from Latana's house because it was too bitter cold and windy, but Latana did offer to take Barb and I on a cart ride pulled by her little donkey. I thought it sounded like fun, but Barb sulked and complained that she didn't drive all that way just to get pulled around in a cart. She was also very anti-social and withdrawn while we were inside Latana's house. Latana never said anything, but she didn't act like she was all that happy that I had brought Barb to stay at her house.

But we did get to ride at White Sands one day and we enjoyed a very nice ride. I had helped organize a group of riders to meet us at the monument so we could all celebrate Barb's birthday. The only negativity we had was Latana trying to keep everyone from trotting or cantering or trying to pass her mule, because she said it got her mule too upset. Which was a shame because White Sands is a place that just begs to be explored flying across the dunes on a trotting or cantering horse. So, we all just stayed mostly in a single file line behind Latana for much of the ride.

But after the ride, the weirdest thing happened. Latana loaded up her mule before anyone else and she just left, without saying anything to us, or even waiting for us. I had only been to Latana's house one other time, a year ago, and I wasn't even sure if I remembered how to find my way there coming from White Sands. Barb was really angry about Latana leaving us, and made threatening remarks that she was going to have a "few words" with Latana when we finally got back to her place and she was glad her husband wasn't there because he would tell Latana off. She complained about Latana being a rude, annoying person. She even tried to convince me to just drive the several hours all the way back home instead of staying at Latana's that night.

But during our drive back to Latana's house, I was able to calm Barb down and told her not to say anything to Latana or cause a scene. But Barb said she never wanted to see Latana again.

Well, just two months later, I had plans to drive out to Catalina State Park in Arizona for 4 days to camp and ride my horse, and I had already invited both Barb and Latana before all the drama at Latana's place. I was surprised that Barb said she still wanted to go. But then as the date drew closer she started to make up a lot of excuses why she couldn't go. So Latana texted me and told me that if Barb ended up not going that she would gladly drive up to my house and pick up my horse and I and we would all drive to Catalina State Park together.

Well, at the last minute Barb did back out, so I asked Latana when she was driving up to get me. Well, she basically blew me off, breaking her promise to me. She also backed out, too. She tried to make excuses by saying the timing and the weather weren't right, the drive was too long, and "poor Barb couldn't go, so we should reschedule".

But I had already made my plans. And another friend and her husband we're already planning to meet me in AZ, so I was going. I called Latana out on her broken promise and said she should have never offered something she had no intention of following through with. She got offended and I figured the friendship we had, although very brief, was over anyway, so I told her about Barb's behavior down at White Sands a couple months earlier, since Latana seemed to think that Barb and her were such great friends. I wanted Latana to know the entire truth so she could make up her own mind. Plus I had been carrying around that heavy information for so long and I didn't feel it was fair for me to keep that secret any longer.

Well, when I got back from Arizona, I apologized to Latana for telling her about Barb and for calling her out on breaking her promise. But the friendship between us was already over. And of course, those two fake back-stabbing friends, Barb and Kendra had become thick as thieves while I was in Arizona, so I had quite a bit of loss to deal with in such a short time. It sure was an eye-opening experience and taught me a lot about fake friends, betrayal, liars, and backstabbers.

When we are young, we are taught that bad people don't always look like ugly, scary monsters. They can look friendly and kind and smile to your face. But these people cannot be trusted because their true intentions and character are evil. That's a good definition of a fake friend.......

The Original Fake Friend

They say that "Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Flattery", but I can't say that it's always true, especially when the imitation comes from someone who claims to be a friend, yet tries to take over your life by stealing your friends, including themselves into every aspect of your life, and even changing her appearance to look more like you. That stalker-ish behavior borders on creepy and crazy.

But that's what my ex-friend Kendra did. I met her in early 2012, and even though our relationship ended in mid-2013 and we were only "friends" for a little more than a year, she quickly integrated herself into my life through Facebook, friend-ing all of my friends, even those she had never met, tagging me and using my name to make herself more popular, inviting herself to anything I planned, including events, rides and even activities on my little farm. She even tried to look like me, wearing a riding helmet and helmet covers, even getting her hair cut like mine.

Unbeknownst to me, she was making her plans to try and sabotage my life by backstabbing and betraying me. I was too naive to realize what an opportunistic fake friend she was.

We started riding together in 2012 and we seemed to enjoy each other's company. We both enjoyed exploring trails on our horses and we even went hiking together. Kendra started encouraging me to invite my other friends to ride with us and to plan group rides, which I did. And before long, we had a pretty large riding group and my friends were her friends. Her scheming plans were laid.

I organized several horse camping weekend events and made sure to include everyone. But ironically, I was rarely ever invited by my fellow riding partners to join them for any rides. But they all took advantage of my planning and organizing and showed up to my rides.

At the time, I didn't have a safe horse trailer nor was able to use my family's truck to tow it with, so I was at the mercy of others to haul my horse and it was a humbling experience. I learned that people treat you like you are less when you need help. And they seem to think that you are weak and they can manipulate you and control you because of your neediness. Even though I always gave those who hauled my horse, money to compensate for their time and gas, and I often paid for and provided lunch on road trips and trail rides, it's still not a good place to be in. Especially not when you're dealing with fake friends. It's only a matter of time before they turn on you with betrayal.

It's didn't take long for Kendra to betray me and stab me in my back. One day I posted a link to a video on a local horse group, about the cruelty of soreing on Tennessee Walking Horses. And one bossy bully, Erlene, quickly hijackeded my post with several of her groupie followers. I never got pulled into the bickering and debating, but when my post was hijacked with Erlene and her cronies personally attacking and being rude to fellow commenters, I chose to delete my post, just as anyone has a right to do, and what all good moderators do, to keep groups from becoming over run with negativity. But Linda, the Admin, didn't mind her group becoming the next Jerry Springer Show and she admonished me for deleting my post and sided with the bully gang. And unbeknownst to me, Kendra was slinking around on FB watching the drama, yet never speaking up and showing her support for me, her supposed friend. (Ironically, this is where Paula entered into my life because she stood up for me and against Erlene and Linda) Instead Kendra betrayed me by liking posts of anyone that criticized me for deleting my post. And when several people started attacking me personally for blocking them and criticizing me for needing rides for my horse, Kendra liked their Facebook posts and made comments to these people that she would like to be included in their circle and on rides they planned. She was apparently jumping ship when the person she had been using to become popular, me, wasn't popular anymore. She didn't want to be connected with me because I stood up against the bullies, because she wanted them to like her.

So, when I discovered her backstabbing behavior, I called her out on it, and she denied it, of course, and then she unfriended and blocked me on Facebook. And that was the end of our supposed friendship.

I guess I should be grateful that we were only friends for just over a year, but it still hurt me, because I had trusted her and allowed her into my life and accepted her as a friend, only to discover what a manipulating, opportunistic, backstabber she really was.

And Kendra really showed her true colors yet again, when I hauled my horse out to Tucson, AZ for a week of horse camping in the late winter of 2014. I had organized the horse camping week and invited several people, including another fake friend, Barb. Well, Barb was on the fence about going and finally decided she couldn't go. And only one other couple were able to go, and they met me there. But apparently, Barb was resentful about me going, and Kendra must have decided to strike while the situation seemed sensitive because...well, you know what they say, "When the cat's away, the mice do play". When I returned from AZ, I discovered that my supposed friend, Barb had invited Kendra over to her place to ride with her, and they had become fast friends...even though Barb was made aware of what Kendra had done to me and knew how much Kendra had hurt me, and what a lying fake friend Kendra really was.

Oh well. I decided that the two of them probably did me a favor and they actually deserved each other. Two opportunistic, manipulative, disloyal, fake friends. Good riddance.

To be continued........