The Original Fake Friend

They say that "Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Flattery", but I can't say that it's always true, especially when the imitation comes from someone who claims to be a friend, yet tries to take over your life by stealing your friends, including themselves into every aspect of your life, and even changing her appearance to look more like you. That stalker-ish behavior borders on creepy and crazy.

But that's what my ex-friend Kendra did. I met her in early 2012, and even though our relationship ended in mid-2013 and we were only "friends" for a little more than a year, she quickly integrated herself into my life through Facebook, friend-ing all of my friends, even those she had never met, tagging me and using my name to make herself more popular, inviting herself to anything I planned, including events, rides and even activities on my little farm. She even tried to look like me, wearing a riding helmet and helmet covers, even getting her hair cut like mine.

Unbeknownst to me, she was making her plans to try and sabotage my life by backstabbing and betraying me. I was too naive to realize what an opportunistic fake friend she was.

We started riding together in 2012 and we seemed to enjoy each other's company. We both enjoyed exploring trails on our horses and we even went hiking together. Kendra started encouraging me to invite my other friends to ride with us and to plan group rides, which I did. And before long, we had a pretty large riding group and my friends were her friends. Her scheming plans were laid.

I organized several horse camping weekend events and made sure to include everyone. But ironically, I was rarely ever invited by my fellow riding partners to join them for any rides. But they all took advantage of my planning and organizing and showed up to my rides.

At the time, I didn't have a safe horse trailer nor was able to use my family's truck to tow it with, so I was at the mercy of others to haul my horse and it was a humbling experience. I learned that people treat you like you are less when you need help. And they seem to think that you are weak and they can manipulate you and control you because of your neediness. Even though I always gave those who hauled my horse, money to compensate for their time and gas, and I often paid for and provided lunch on road trips and trail rides, it's still not a good place to be in. Especially not when you're dealing with fake friends. It's only a matter of time before they turn on you with betrayal.

It's didn't take long for Kendra to betray me and stab me in my back. One day I posted a link to a video on a local horse group, about the cruelty of soreing on Tennessee Walking Horses. And one bossy bully, Erlene, quickly hijackeded my post with several of her groupie followers. I never got pulled into the bickering and debating, but when my post was hijacked with Erlene and her cronies personally attacking and being rude to fellow commenters, I chose to delete my post, just as anyone has a right to do, and what all good moderators do, to keep groups from becoming over run with negativity. But Linda, the Admin, didn't mind her group becoming the next Jerry Springer Show and she admonished me for deleting my post and sided with the bully gang. And unbeknownst to me, Kendra was slinking around on FB watching the drama, yet never speaking up and showing her support for me, her supposed friend. (Ironically, this is where Paula entered into my life because she stood up for me and against Erlene and Linda) Instead Kendra betrayed me by liking posts of anyone that criticized me for deleting my post. And when several people started attacking me personally for blocking them and criticizing me for needing rides for my horse, Kendra liked their Facebook posts and made comments to these people that she would like to be included in their circle and on rides they planned. She was apparently jumping ship when the person she had been using to become popular, me, wasn't popular anymore. She didn't want to be connected with me because I stood up against the bullies, because she wanted them to like her.

So, when I discovered her backstabbing behavior, I called her out on it, and she denied it, of course, and then she unfriended and blocked me on Facebook. And that was the end of our supposed friendship.

I guess I should be grateful that we were only friends for just over a year, but it still hurt me, because I had trusted her and allowed her into my life and accepted her as a friend, only to discover what a manipulating, opportunistic, backstabber she really was.

And Kendra really showed her true colors yet again, when I hauled my horse out to Tucson, AZ for a week of horse camping in the late winter of 2014. I had organized the horse camping week and invited several people, including another fake friend, Barb. Well, Barb was on the fence about going and finally decided she couldn't go. And only one other couple were able to go, and they met me there. But apparently, Barb was resentful about me going, and Kendra must have decided to strike while the situation seemed sensitive because...well, you know what they say, "When the cat's away, the mice do play". When I returned from AZ, I discovered that my supposed friend, Barb had invited Kendra over to her place to ride with her, and they had become fast friends...even though Barb was made aware of what Kendra had done to me and knew how much Kendra had hurt me, and what a lying fake friend Kendra really was.

Oh well. I decided that the two of them probably did me a favor and they actually deserved each other. Two opportunistic, manipulative, disloyal, fake friends. Good riddance.

To be continued........

The Fort Stanton Waterfall Trail Ride

 

Well we sure do need rain here in New Mexico. But humidity is something we New Mexicans are just not used to.

When we woke in the morning, the ground had already sucked up every last drop of moisture from the gully washer storm from the night before, leaving behind slightly muddy ground and a lot of humidity.

I climbed out of my tent at sunrise and made sure Apache mare was none the worse for wear after such a dramatic storm with her being stuck in a portable corral in the middle of an open field.

She was fine and seemed to enjoy all my petting and attention, like always, and was then happy to devour her breakfast, while I got dressed.   

 

After tacking up, our entire group of 10 cowgirls lined up for a photo at the campground. We were also joined by a cowboy and his girlfriend, who had never been to Ft. Stanton and asked if they could ride with us. (That’s them way in the background of the photo below)

(Left to Right: Donna, Barb, Kendra, Paula, Me, Karen, Annette, Marsha, Janet, and Cheryl) 

 

And then down the trail we went. Capitan Mountains in the distance.

 

We rode past an old Merchant Marine Cemetery. 

 

My friend Kendra was having a bad day. She and her Bailey Boy were not seeing eye-to-eye and he was giving her a lot of trouble, so about halfway down the trail, she turned around and headed back. She wasn’t alone, though. My friend Karen joined her, too. Karen and her horse Rio were also not having a good day. And they were joined by my friend Annette, whose horse Luke injured his back foot by a sharp rock. 

 

Kendra took this photo of Apache and I, as we rode through the BLM gate. Annette and her boy Luke were behind us. 

 

We rode alongside the road through the little village of Fort Stanton.

 

 The entire Fort is unoccupied, so it was interesting to wander around and explore the empty roads and old abandoned homes. 

 

We crossed the Rio Bonito and all our horses enjoyed a good long drink of the cool refreshing water. 

 

Some areas of Ft. Stanton have buildings that have not been restored or renovated. But it was interesting to get up close and explore these old buildings with stories to tell.

 I liked the adobe mud brick walls of this old building.

 

 

I enjoyed imagining these old corrals filled with cattle and horses.

 

The ride itself was only 6-7 miles long, and the trail was mostly flat and very relaxing.

 

And soon we arrived at our destination, where there were some wonderful, large cottonwood trees to provide a place to tie our horses with some blessed shade, so they could enjoy a rest and a nap, while we ladies played in the waterfall.

Apache is such a good girl when tied.

 

All our equines, 5 horses and 2 mules enjoyed their rest under the shade of the big cottonwood trees.

 

I took this photo with my little Canon PowerShot and I don’t know why it looks like I used a special lens, but I like the affect.

 

We left our equines in the shade of the cottonwoods and hiked down the hill to the Rio Bonito and an enchanting waterfall. The sound of the water was like music!

 

Some of my friends had already stripped down and were enjoying the cool, refreshing water. (Barb and Marsha thought it was freezing cold at first)

 

It didn’t take me long to put on my bathing suit bottoms and climb down there, too. The water was pretty darn cold, but on that hot humid day, it was appreciated!

 

Ahhhhhh! It felt so good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Two of the ladies in our group, Janet and Cheryl, didn’t want to get into the water, and so they just sat up on the wall above the waterfall and watched while eating their lunch. They really had no idea what they were missing!

 

I didn’t bother putting on my bathing suit top, because I was wearing a light cotton shirt, and I knew it would dry quickly on the way back to camp after we played in the water. The benefit of a cold, wet cotton shirt was it provided a wonderful evaporative cooler affect, too!

I seriously could have sat beside that waterfall and played in that water all day. I just loved it!

 

My friend Marsha brought us down a couple of cold beers to enjoy under the waterfall, too. We were acting very silly for the camera as you can see. hah!

 

Barb’s friend Donna climbed down to join us in the waterfall, along with Marsha’s Rhodesian Ridgeback, Rhoda.

 I’m glad Barb was up there taking some photos of us. It’s great to see the photos that show what an awesome fun time we were having.

 

Cowgirl Fun on a Hot Summer Day!

 

Some dark afternoon clouds started rolling in, so we reluctantly left the waterfall behind and checked in with our equines, who were all relaxed and resting beneath the cottonwood trees.

 

Apache: “Where ya been?” “Why didn’t you take me, too?”

 

We all climbed back in our saddles and headed back down the trail.

 

My buddy Paula and her awesome mule Tecumseh.

 We rode past the old corral again. 

 

And back down the hill towards Rio Bonito.

 

All our equines were happy to enjoy another refreshing drink from the little river.

(From Left to Right: Janet, Barb, Donna, and Cheryl)

 

We rode back through the restored area of Ft. Stanton.

 

My Apache Mare and I stopped and got a good look at the old Ft. Stanton that has been turned into a museum.

Fort Stanton was built in 1855 and was a U.S Military Fort. It was established to protect settlements along the Rio Bonito in the Apache Wars. Kit Carson, John “Black Jack” Pershing, Billy the Kid, and The Buffalo Soldiers of the 9th Cavalry all lived here. Confederate forces occupied the outpost in the beginning of the American Civil War after the post was abandoned with the withdrawal of U.S. forces in the region. The Fort was originally established in part as the Mescalero Apache reservation. In 1873 the Apache Reservation was moved 30 miles southwest and that location remains the current reservation. Fort Stanton property became America's first federal tuberculosis hospital. In World War II it interned both German and Japanese.

In 2008, New Mexico established Fort Stanton as a living history venue, Fort Stanton State Monument, and funds to renovate headquarters, officers quarters, and stables.

In 2009, the area around Fort Stanton and Fort Stanton Cave was designated by the U.S. Congress as a National Conservation Area, with more than 25,000 acres. The NCA has over 90 miles of multi-use trails for horseback riding, mountain bike riding and hiking. It is the venue of an annual Endurance Riding Event that has grown to be 6 days long. The NCA is joined on its south and northeast boundaries by the Smokey Bear Ranger District of the Lincoln National Forest.

 

As the storms clouds rolled in we made our way back to camp. Apache can be such a slowpoke and loves to look at everything. I had to keep asking her to keep moving and tried to keep her at a trot as I kept hearing thunder rolling in behind us.

Two of my friends, Janet and Cheryl wanted to do some cantering, so they took the right side trail that looped around. You can see the two of them to the right in this photo below.

The rest of our group you can’t see in this photo because the straight trail to the left that we stayed on, dips down farther ahead, and that’s where they were when I shot this photo. The Capitan Mountains are in the distance.

 

As we got closer to camp, Apache got even slower, as did my friend Cheryl’s horse. I think they wanted to stay out and explore the trails a little longer.

My friend Cheryl and her handsome gaited horse, Koda, bringing up the rear.

 

Almost in camp……

 

Up Next: Amazing Trail Ride to the Sky!

Horse Camping at Fort Stanton, NM

 

I recently organized a horse camping weekend for a bunch of my friends down between Capitan and Lincoln, NM, at Ft. Stanton Equestrian Campground. This region is BIlly The Kid’s old stomping grounds and home of the true Wild West.

My friend Paula, who rides a handsome mule named Tecumseh, came over and picked me up so we could share a ride down there and share gas expenses.

Apache has ridden with Tecumseh several times in the past and really seems to like him.

We met up with three other friends and convoyed down together.

On the way down there, just north of Carrizozo, we saw several large storm clouds. This one even hid the Capitan Mountains behind them.

We felt a few raindrops as we unloaded our equines, so we hurried up and set up our corrals and campsites.

I placed my tent beside Paula’s gooseneck trailer, within sight of my Apache mare. And Apache was very content to be back inside her Shady Shack Portable Corral.

This was my first time horse camping with my tent with it’s integrated poles, which make for an easy 5 minute set-up. And I was pretty impressed that Apache didn’t have any concerns as I was popping it up and moving it all around, before I finally chose a location I felt was perfect.

Perfect views from my front door, too!

I learned that Wally World’s 99 cent solar lights and a headlamp are #1 on my list of camping items to bring. The extra light is very convenient, especially when it’s pitch black at night or during a wicked thunderstorm, or when you just want to check on your horse.

I also learned that I love camping and sleeping near my horse, and she made me smile every time she’d nicker at me when she saw me or would hear me move around inside my tent.

The ladies in our group ran the gamut in horse containment systems. Some, used portable corrals, while some used a trailer hi-tie, and some used an electric corral, and another set up an overhead high-line between two trailers.

My friend Kendra set up a borrowed portable corral for her boy Bailey.

This is our group campsite area. There were 9 of us in all. But two more friends, who live locally, showed up about dinner time with their horses.

Barb and Donna set up a nice shelter which served as our group’s meeting and eating place.

(From left to right: Cheryl, Kendra, Me, and Donna)

Before we sat down to dinner, a few ladies decided to enjoy a little ride around camp.

(From left to right: Barb and Kendra)

(Cheryl on her gorgeous gaited horse Koda)

 

A couple ladies decided to do a bareback ride.

(Kendra and Karen)

But they paid the price…..

Everyone was still in good spirits at dinner time. And after dinner, we had a great time laughing and sharing stories.

(Kendra)

These two ladies are a heck of a lot of fun. They came up to ride with us back in April at San Lorenzo Canyon, and they were excited to show us some of their favorite local trails at Ft. Stanton.

(Annette and Marsha) 

Barb’s friend Donna was visiting from the East Coast and hadn’t ridden since she was a young girl. Donna was a lot of fun, too.

(Donna and Barb)

I’ve only ridden with Cheryl once before, but she is also a fun lady.

And I always enjoy having my buddy Karen join me for a trail ride. She is lots of fun and very sweet.

And although I’ve ridden with Paula a few time already, I didn’t really know her that well, because she tends to be rather quiet. But during this trip, she was very relaxed and I got to know her a lot better and we had a great time together.

Before the night was over and it was Quiet Time, there was cowgirl dancing………

And there was a heck of a lot of silliness!

(From left to right: Me, Donna and Barb)

And then it was Quiet Time and we all crawled into our Sleeping Arrangements for the night.

 

But around midnight a huge storm moved in with pounding thunder and cracking lightning, followed by a torrential monsoon rain storm!

It was pretty terrifying being inside of a tent during such chaos. I was mostly worried about my horse and if she was ok and I talked to her throughout the storm and she nickered back, and she and the other equines whinnied to one another as if checking to make sure everyone was alright.

But I stayed safe and dry, even though beneath the tent, it felt like I was sleeping on a water bed. I was grateful to have my 10’x8’ tarp lining the bottom inside of my tent.

When the storm began to slow down, I heard giggling outside my tent and my friends asking me if I had floated away. No, but I was thankful for strong metal tent stakes!

(Marsha was having too much fun outside my tent wading in the flood water)

My friend Kendra who was sleeping inside her tack room, tried to convince me to join her, but I was cozy, warm and dry inside my tent….and well, The Captain doesn’t jump ship! haha!

But I also didn’t want to leave my Apache mare either.

(A soaking wet, Kendra outside in the rain and flood waters, with my mare, trying to convince me to leave my tent)

Kendra took a photo of me peeking out of my floating tent-ship as I watched the water rush past my front door.

New Mexico sure can use the rain, but a nice slow, gentle rain is much nicer and easier for the ground to soak up.

 

So…would the rain and flooding stop by morning? Would the ground be safe to ride on?

Or would the rest of the weekend be a total wash-out?

Come back to find out……..