The Fakest Friend of All

The above meme describes this next fake friend absolutely perfect. Colleen is definitely not a genuine person and will do anything to create a reputation for herself that matches what she wants others to believe. But she is the fakest person I have ever known or associated with. She will turn on anyone that doesn't benefit her any longer. And she will take credit for other's work and if you call her out on it, she will go into attack mode and act like you're in the wrong and not her. And she will change her personality to fit into a particular group that somehow benefits her.

I had to learn all those lessons the hard way.

I got to know Colleen over 7 years ago, through my time volunteering with a local horse rescue that she was the founder of, Walking in Circles. My involvement with her began when she had discovered a small ranch for sale about an hour south of the horse rescue called Cedar Hill Farm that she was hoping to lease and allow the rescue horses a place to graze during the summer. She not only managed to do that, but she also started using Cedar Hill for horse clinics, trail rides and competitive trail competitions. I attended one of her Confidence Clinics after I sustained several injuries from my first horse, Dakotas Baby Doll, who was totally unsuitable for me. I was ready to give up on riding, but wanted to try a confidence clinic to see if I could muster up enough confidence to have one last try at my dream of horse ownership.

Well, the Confidence Clinic was a success and I was soon looking to sell Baby Doll and buy a safer, more compatible horse for my abilities. After selling Baby Doll, I discovered my current horse, Apache and asked Colleen to go with me to check her out. She offered to let me board Apache at her house so I could try her out on trails and be sure that she was the right horse for me. Colleen had a boarding business at her house, so this worked out perfectly. After realizing that Apache was going to work out for me, I then started paying Colleen to pick up me and my horse and take us to her organized trail rides, competitive ACTHA rides and riding clinics at Cedar Hill. And it wasn't long before Colleen had organized a horse camping weekend, and I signed up and paid her for that, too. I started to think of Colleen as a friend, even though I had to pay money to do anything with her at all. But I figured that it cost money to operate a horse rescue and the money was going to a good place.

Or so I thought.

At Walking in Circles Horse Rescue there is a board of directors that Colleen had to answer to, and one day Colleen was asked to resign after it was discovered that Colleen was mismanaging the rescue's money and spending the donations for personal things that weren't benefiting the rescued horses. I refused to get caught up in all the rumors and gossip and badmouthing of Colleen, because I wanted to be loyal to Colleen for her helping me get back into riding again. But it was shocking and disappointing to hear people, who were supposedly Colleen's friends, like Loeta, Christine, Peggy, and others talking badly about Colleen.

But Colleen quickly reinvented herself and signed onto a lease-to-own for Cedar Hill Farm, and eventually even gathered up a bunch of investors and sponsors and began to get boarders and trainers signed up to do clinics at Cedar Hill, all so she could purchase Cedar Hill and make it her own. And before long she had changed the name of Cedar Hill Farm, to 4 Winds Equestrian Center.

Eventually I realized that I wanted to expand my riding skills, so I started riding down at a place called Acacia Riding Adventures, in San Acacia, NM, because they were riding on rugged trails and in unique areas that were exciting and fun. Dacodah is the owner of Acacia Riding Adventures and he provided me with well trained, seasoned trail horses and fun adventures that instilled confidence and good riding skills. But when Colleen, warned me not to ride at Acacia Riding Adventures, I wanted to know why and asked Dacodah. Apparently, Colleen and Dacodah had tried to go into business together forming Acacia Riding Academy and it worked out very badly with Dacodah having to file restraining orders against Colleen. Dacodah had a lot of warnings to give me about spending time with Colleen. But I refused to listen and instead just focused on building my riding experiences and skills down at San Acacia.

I was also warned by many other people about Colleen and how she uses people for her own gain, and how she had spent donations to the horse rescue for her own personal vacations and for personal items, like a brand new Living Quarters Horse Trailer and a new truck. I was told by others how Colleen will include you in her life and keep you around, but only as long as you benefit her in some way. I was told by Barb how Colleen had used her and taken advantage of her and her husband when they were planning to invest in the business at Cedar Hill. And I was told by another friend R, who she and her husband had volunteered at the horse rescue for Colleen, that Colleen was not to be trusted...ever. She knew things about Colleen that were shocking. And even another friend L, who had boarded her horses with Colleen and volunteered at the horse rescue, told me that Colleen was only nice to you when it benefited her. I was told by Colleen's own daughter and granddaughter that Colleen was known to dump people in a heartbeat if those people were at all any inconvenience or did anything she didn't agree with. Even her own family. And I was told that Colleen would even make up lies to create false stories about people she had kicked out of her life so she could manipulate her current friends and associates into siding with her. I had heard Colleen bad mouthing and being critical of others in her life, but I chose to ignore it because I thought we were friends and I was naive enough to believe that she wasn't doing the same thing to me. And I have to be honest, too, even though it makes me feel ashamed. But I wanted to be included in Colleen's circle because she was always making activities and events happen and it felt good to be a part of that and feel needed and liked, even if I was being used, and even if I felt deep inside that things just didn't seem quite right.

But anyway.......soon Colleen was having me be more involved at 4 Winds. She had asked me to take photos of the facilities and clinic and riding events and in return for the use of my photos, she offered me a lifetime membership at 4 Winds Equestrian Center, with full use of all of the trails, the arenas and round pens and indoor arena and discounts on boarding. She also asked me to host and plan trail rides and horse camping events and she asked me to be the Administrator of the 4 Winds Equestrian Center's Facebook page and to be in charge of online advertising. In hindsight I should have got everything we agreed to written into a legal contract, but I doubt Colleen would have been willing to sign it because that's the way she is able to take advantage of people to get what she wants.

Well, after the Fourth of July Canyon Ride and then a riding event up at Starry Night Ranch she showed me truly what a fake friend she really was. I had been going through a lot of personal problems in my life involving that clique of women that used me and then back stabbed me, along with marital problems involving abuse and infidelity, and it all finally culminated in depression and anxiety. I felt like I had fallen into a deep hole. But instead of being a good friend and supporting me, Colleen instead, along with her husband, blocked me on Facebook, removed me as Admin on the 4 Winds page, and took me off her 4 Winds website as a ride host and organizer. She snuck around and did all that behind my back without telling me anything. I was shocked and disappointed because I had done nothing to her. We hadn't had any arguments or disagreements. She just up and deleted me from her life because I was having personal problems and she felt like I was a liability somehow, even though I had done nothing wrong at all to her or her business.

I called her out on what she did and she accused me of faking my depression and she tried to convince me that if only I would move to AZ to be closer to my husband, my life would be better.

She never even asked me why I felt the way I did or tried to show me support and encouragement. She didn't care that my husband had been verbally and emotionally abusing and even threatening physical abuse for many years to our 3 kids and me as well. She didn't care because she was never a real friend. Colleen never asked about my husband's infidelity and him joining an Asian Dating site for many months so he could meet young Chinese girls and cheat on me. She never asked about the thousands of dollars he was spending on the Asian Dating site and the gifts for the Chinese girls he had long phone and video conversations with. She never asked me about my husband taking me to dinner for our 24th wedding anniversary, and then coming home to video chat with a Chinese girl afterwards. She never asked about how my husband was using our two son's money to fund the cheating and lying. Or how he was using one of our sons to tell all his Asian girl fantasies and desires to. He even showed my son photos of these girls and asked him which ones he would like to be his new stepmom! Colleen wasn't there for me when my husband flew to Hong Kong to meet these Chinese girls and take them out to dinner and a hotel and how I had to find out this was happening through our bank account statements.

I must really be a magnet for disloyal, cheating, dishonest, backstabbing, fake users. Because of my experiences over the past few years, I have learned that I am way too trusting, too honest, too loyal, too kind, too generous, and too naive. Bad people just really seem to seek out people like me.

The Opportunistic Two-Faced Fake Friend

This is someone I always knew in my heart was a fake friend. Loeta only rode with me and offered to haul my horse because she needed a riding partner. She invited herself to ride with me and another former friend, Kendra at Galisteo Preserve 3 years ago and then kept inviting herself to all future riding events I organized. She never once wanted to hang out with me or talk with me outside of riding and she never hung out with me if there were other people on a ride. I knew what kind of person she was after our mutual friend, Colleen was asked to resign from her horse rescue business a few years earlier, due to questionable behavior and activity. Loeta and Colleen were supposed to be best friends, yet after Colleen was removed from WNCR, I often overheard Loeta speaking negatively about Colleen about her involvement at WNCR. Loeta had become the horse rescue's director and she and her husband also helped manage the horse rescue's thrift store, where I had volunteered for a year. It made me sick to hear Loeta badmouth and gossip about Colleen with other people that came into the thrift store.

Talk about a very two-faced person. I should have known better than to include Loeta into my life. But she always seemed to be everywhere there was an opportunity for her, so it was impossible to exclude her anyway.

But ironically, Loeta also seemed to be using Colleen. She was boarding her horses at Colleen's horse boarding facility and also seemed to be using her to get included in any riding events that Colleen planned. When Colleen offered me a lifetime membership to 4 Winds Equestrian Center for the use of any photos I took for her of her facility or riding events, Loeta seemed upset, especially since Colleen had raised Loeta's boarding and membership fees, and yet Colleen and Loeta were supposed to be best friends.

When Loeta placed her loving husband into a nursing home, I found it interesting how she spent more and more time riding with a fellow named Cory, who was married to a mutual friend named Christine. Loeta even started keeping one of her horses at Cory and Christine's house. It was a common sight to see Cory and Loeta together. So, it didn't take long for Christine and Cory to end up divorced with Christine even moving out of state. Afterwards, Loeta became even more involved in Cory's life, house and pet-sitting for him and taking care of both of their horses. In fact, after Christine was out of the picture, it was rare to ever see Loeta unless Cory was with her, all while her husband lived in a nursing home.

So, I shouldn't have been surprised to see Cory and Loeta together when I rode at Fourth of July Canyon in the Summer of 2014. And I shouldn't have been surprised when she asked me not to take photos of her and Cory together out on the trail. And I shouldn't have been surprised that the two of them rode far behind everyone, out of sight, and keeping to themselves. And I shouldn't have been surprised when she contacted me after I wrote my blog post about that Fourth of July Canyon ride, and she told me I needed to remove her and Cory's names from my blog. And I shouldn't have been surprised when she threatened me with a charge of defamation of character for telling the truth about what I experienced that day. And I shouldn't have been surprised that she didn't support me or stand behind me when she saw how badly Paula had treated me or when Paula had her immature outburst while at Fourth of July Canyon.

Of course, in my defense, I had naively believed that Loeta was a real friend. But that was just wishful thinking on my part, because I knew already what an opportunistic, two-faced person she was, long before she stabbed me in the back at the end. So, I have only myself to blame for that unfortunate mistake.

The Promise-Breaker, Fake Friend

This particular fake friend was only in my life for less than a year. I met Latana in early 2013 through Facebook when I was looking for places to stay with horses down near White Sands National Monument for a group riding weekend that I had planned. Latana offered her place to me and my friends and even offered to ride along with us and provide a trail guide at White Sands. She quickly integrated herself into my group of friends and friended all of them on Facebook. And I included her in all of the rides I organized and she drove the several hours from her place to participate. I even invited her up to stay at my place one weekend so I could show her some of my favorite trails. During that weekend, I held a campfire in her honor, but she sequestered herself inside her camper with a family member she had invited up for the evening, and only showed up, after much pleading, for a few minutes and then complained about how much she disliked the S'Mores that we had provided for her. Barb was one friend who had come over that evening to visit with Latana and said it was rude that Latana couldn't at least sit with us by the fire and visit.

In early December 2013, my former friend, Barb had asked me if I would go with her to White Sands National Monument so she could ride there for her birthday. She probably wouldn't have asked me to go with her, but her husband couldn't go and she needed a place to stay down there and she had never met Latana and didn't feel comfortable staying at Latana's house by herself. So, I agreed to go with her. I never realized what a negative person Barb was until we did that road trip together. The weather wasn't all that nice that weekend and was windy and cold. We ended up not riding out from Latana's house because it was too bitter cold and windy, but Latana did offer to take Barb and I on a cart ride pulled by her little donkey. I thought it sounded like fun, but Barb sulked and complained that she didn't drive all that way just to get pulled around in a cart. She was also very anti-social and withdrawn while we were inside Latana's house. Latana never said anything, but she didn't act like she was all that happy that I had brought Barb to stay at her house.

But we did get to ride at White Sands one day and we enjoyed a very nice ride. I had helped organize a group of riders to meet us at the monument so we could all celebrate Barb's birthday. The only negativity we had was Latana trying to keep everyone from trotting or cantering or trying to pass her mule, because she said it got her mule too upset. Which was a shame because White Sands is a place that just begs to be explored flying across the dunes on a trotting or cantering horse. So, we all just stayed mostly in a single file line behind Latana for much of the ride.

But after the ride, the weirdest thing happened. Latana loaded up her mule before anyone else and she just left, without saying anything to us, or even waiting for us. I had only been to Latana's house one other time, a year ago, and I wasn't even sure if I remembered how to find my way there coming from White Sands. Barb was really angry about Latana leaving us, and made threatening remarks that she was going to have a "few words" with Latana when we finally got back to her place and she was glad her husband wasn't there because he would tell Latana off. She complained about Latana being a rude, annoying person. She even tried to convince me to just drive the several hours all the way back home instead of staying at Latana's that night.

But during our drive back to Latana's house, I was able to calm Barb down and told her not to say anything to Latana or cause a scene. But Barb said she never wanted to see Latana again.

Well, just two months later, I had plans to drive out to Catalina State Park in Arizona for 4 days to camp and ride my horse, and I had already invited both Barb and Latana before all the drama at Latana's place. I was surprised that Barb said she still wanted to go. But then as the date drew closer she started to make up a lot of excuses why she couldn't go. So Latana texted me and told me that if Barb ended up not going that she would gladly drive up to my house and pick up my horse and I and we would all drive to Catalina State Park together.

Well, at the last minute Barb did back out, so I asked Latana when she was driving up to get me. Well, she basically blew me off, breaking her promise to me. She also backed out, too. She tried to make excuses by saying the timing and the weather weren't right, the drive was too long, and "poor Barb couldn't go, so we should reschedule".

But I had already made my plans. And another friend and her husband we're already planning to meet me in AZ, so I was going. I called Latana out on her broken promise and said she should have never offered something she had no intention of following through with. She got offended and I figured the friendship we had, although very brief, was over anyway, so I told her about Barb's behavior down at White Sands a couple months earlier, since Latana seemed to think that Barb and her were such great friends. I wanted Latana to know the entire truth so she could make up her own mind. Plus I had been carrying around that heavy information for so long and I didn't feel it was fair for me to keep that secret any longer.

Well, when I got back from Arizona, I apologized to Latana for telling her about Barb and for calling her out on breaking her promise. But the friendship between us was already over. And of course, those two fake back-stabbing friends, Barb and Kendra had become thick as thieves while I was in Arizona, so I had quite a bit of loss to deal with in such a short time. It sure was an eye-opening experience and taught me a lot about fake friends, betrayal, liars, and backstabbers.

When we are young, we are taught that bad people don't always look like ugly, scary monsters. They can look friendly and kind and smile to your face. But these people cannot be trusted because their true intentions and character are evil. That's a good definition of a fake friend.......

The Clique-y Fake Friend

This post will be a short one because this particular fake friend didn't hold a very important or prominent place in my life. I had known Vicki through various riding events in the past and then started inviting her to the rides that I organized. In her defense, Vicki at least invited me to a few rides that she organized and even offered to haul my horse to those rides. Of course, I always offered her gas money for hauling my horse. I never took advantage of anyone that was willing to help me. Vicki even hosted my birthday ride that I organized for myself a few years ago. Of course, I made sure to invite a few of her close friends, so she would enjoy herself, too.

In the couple years that we socialized together, we never had any conflicts between each other, and she often told me she enjoyed being around me because I caused no drama or problems. But she did enjoy gossiping about other people, and although I politely listened to her and empathized, it made me nervous and cautious to say anything around her because I figured that she'd just as easily gossip about me.

But one day she showed her true fake-friend colors and just simply unfriended me on FaceBook without telling me anything. When I noticed and then contacted her to ask why, she said that she was friends with Karen and since Karen didn't like me, that she couldn't like me either. She also told me that her friend Cindy didn't like me either because I had unfriended her on Facebook. Well, I didn't know Cindy very well and didn't consider her a friend of mine anyway. Plus the only time she ever commented on my posts was to cause conflict or arguments, and I grew tired of her political agenda posts on her own timeline. So, it was no loss for me to cut her out of my Facebook friend list.

But I felt that the way Vicki ended our relationship, even if we were only just occasional riding partners, was just downright dirty and unfair. It reminded me of the way the popular girls treated other girls in high school that weren't in their cliques. During our final message conversation, Vicki even had the audacity to tell me that if she ever saw me in public she would smile and be friendly and polite. As if nothing ever happened.

Ummm.....no thanks. Don't do me any favors. I have no place in my life for fake people.

The Rich, Spoiled Fake Friend

Even in high school, I was never a popular girl and I avoided hanging out with the jocks, cheerleaders and clique-y snob girls. Those kind of people never appealed to me, and they still don't. But when I started including a woman named Karen in the riding and horse camping events I planned, I only did it as a favor to another former riding friend, Vicki. Karen and Vicki were friends, and I thought Vicki would enjoy having her friend included. But both Vicki and Karen are the snobby, spoiled, clique-y, high maintenance, diva-drama types, although Karen was always much, much more so.

I quickly regretted including Karen to anything I planned, because she often complained, whined, gossiped, and just acted like the queen of the universe. The drama was a bit much and really caused a lot of problems. And Karen, although married to a wealthy man and not needing for anything, was very selfish, and a real taker-type, never offering to plan anything and never offering to help anyone. She would just show up when it suited her and she was very opportunistic. One time when she went on a ride with some other friends without inviting me, she claimed that they didn't know me, so she didn't want to ask if I could come along. Which was a lame excuse, because I had invited her to all my rides, even though I didn't really know her, and she often invited friends of hers to the rides I planned, even though I, nor the rest of my friends knew them. Karen was just a user type.

Another time, I had organized a group horse camping event, and had asked everyone to bring one potluck dish to share. She had signed up to bring the main dish, Enchiladas. But after a night of rain, her horse acting like a jerk, and her just not happy with anything, Karen decided that since she wasn't having any fun, she would just leave, without telling anyone while we were all out on a trail ride. And Karen took her main dish with her, leaving the rest of us without anything to eat for dinner, but chips and a few side dishes.

After she had integrated herself into my group of friends, she invited herself to all of my organized events and tried to get very cozy with me, by constantly texting me and calling me to gossip and bad mouth and complain about others. I just listened and politely empathized with her, but it really annoyed me, because I kept thinking, "If she's gossiping and bad mouthing other people to me, then she's probably gossiping and badmouthing me to others, too". So, I tried to avoid her as much as possible and stopped returning her calls and getting caught up in her long whine and gripe sessions about her ex-friend Karen A., and others that "took advantage of her", or who were making her life less than perfect.

But one conversation really stands out with me, and that happened about 2 years ago. I had messaged Karen to invite her to a horse camping weekend I had planned, and right away, she acted suspicious. She wanted to know why I was inviting her and quickly told me that she was never going to haul my horse to any ride. She wanted me to know right up front so I would never expect her to do that for me. I was shocked because I didn't need my horse hauled by her and I had never once asked her to haul my horse to any horse related events. Karen also reminded me of the time about a year earlier when she had invited me to sleep in her RV while horse camping because Dacodah, a mutual friend, had asked her to. She did it as a favor because she had a crush on him and he was training her horse. I could tell she really didn't want me in her RV, and I didn't know her well, so I tried to stay out of her way. But that night she cranked the heat up way above 80 degrees and I felt like I was going to pass out from heat stroke. So, I opened the window above the sofa where I was sleeping, just a crack, so I wouldn't bother her about turning the heat down. But come to find out she was greatly offended by me opening the window without her permission and she still held a grudge against me for that. And I found out months later that Karen had also complained to several other people about me cracking the window open in her RV without her permission. Apparently that little act caused her great pain and suffering.

But, anyway, Karen told me that she didn't want to give anyone's horse a ride and that she didn't like doing things for other people because it was too great of an inconvenience and she went on to name people that had caused her a hassle because she had given them or their horses a ride, and these were all people that I thought were her friends. But she apparently had something negative to say about anyone and everyone, especially if they caused her any inconvenience or did anything that she didn't approve of.

That interaction with her greatly changed my perspective of her and I avoided her even more after that. She still invited herself to any of my rides that she wanted to attend, though, because she had integrated herself into my circle of friends. But she always caused drama during every ride or horse camping event. She complained if I didn't take enough photos of her, or if I took photos of her and her horse's ears, or her hair, or clothes weren't perfect. She griped if anyone was late. She whined if we didn't turn around on the trail when she was too hot or tired, or if the views weren't to her liking. Karen complained if it rained or if the weather was less than perfect. She complained if we took a different trail than she wanted, or if the trail surface wasn't perfect. She even complained when our host and trail guide brought her dogs on a ride. And Karen also whined if she couldn't camp where she could hook up her big RV to electric, so she could have all the comforts of home. She also enjoyed creating cliques and got great enjoyment from excluding others. She would drink heavily and flirt with any men that were nearby. Karen was the queen diva. And it was a real drag having her around. I often regretted including her and wished there was a polite way to send her packing.

But one day, she did me a great favor and made my wishes come true. I didn't realize it at the time because I took it personally and got my feelings hurt because of the way she gave me the news. Karen messaged me and asked me to remove me as her Facebook friend. And when I asked why, all she could tell me was that I was a sweet girl, and very nice, but I wasn't her type. I look back at that and find it funny now because her treatment towards me and her fake personality was no reflection of me as a person at all. But it did reveal what kind of person she was. And one that I am so thankful is no longer in my life.

The Original Fake Friend

They say that "Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Flattery", but I can't say that it's always true, especially when the imitation comes from someone who claims to be a friend, yet tries to take over your life by stealing your friends, including themselves into every aspect of your life, and even changing her appearance to look more like you. That stalker-ish behavior borders on creepy and crazy.

But that's what my ex-friend Kendra did. I met her in early 2012, and even though our relationship ended in mid-2013 and we were only "friends" for a little more than a year, she quickly integrated herself into my life through Facebook, friend-ing all of my friends, even those she had never met, tagging me and using my name to make herself more popular, inviting herself to anything I planned, including events, rides and even activities on my little farm. She even tried to look like me, wearing a riding helmet and helmet covers, even getting her hair cut like mine.

Unbeknownst to me, she was making her plans to try and sabotage my life by backstabbing and betraying me. I was too naive to realize what an opportunistic fake friend she was.

We started riding together in 2012 and we seemed to enjoy each other's company. We both enjoyed exploring trails on our horses and we even went hiking together. Kendra started encouraging me to invite my other friends to ride with us and to plan group rides, which I did. And before long, we had a pretty large riding group and my friends were her friends. Her scheming plans were laid.

I organized several horse camping weekend events and made sure to include everyone. But ironically, I was rarely ever invited by my fellow riding partners to join them for any rides. But they all took advantage of my planning and organizing and showed up to my rides.

At the time, I didn't have a safe horse trailer nor was able to use my family's truck to tow it with, so I was at the mercy of others to haul my horse and it was a humbling experience. I learned that people treat you like you are less when you need help. And they seem to think that you are weak and they can manipulate you and control you because of your neediness. Even though I always gave those who hauled my horse, money to compensate for their time and gas, and I often paid for and provided lunch on road trips and trail rides, it's still not a good place to be in. Especially not when you're dealing with fake friends. It's only a matter of time before they turn on you with betrayal.

It's didn't take long for Kendra to betray me and stab me in my back. One day I posted a link to a video on a local horse group, about the cruelty of soreing on Tennessee Walking Horses. And one bossy bully, Erlene, quickly hijackeded my post with several of her groupie followers. I never got pulled into the bickering and debating, but when my post was hijacked with Erlene and her cronies personally attacking and being rude to fellow commenters, I chose to delete my post, just as anyone has a right to do, and what all good moderators do, to keep groups from becoming over run with negativity. But Linda, the Admin, didn't mind her group becoming the next Jerry Springer Show and she admonished me for deleting my post and sided with the bully gang. And unbeknownst to me, Kendra was slinking around on FB watching the drama, yet never speaking up and showing her support for me, her supposed friend. (Ironically, this is where Paula entered into my life because she stood up for me and against Erlene and Linda) Instead Kendra betrayed me by liking posts of anyone that criticized me for deleting my post. And when several people started attacking me personally for blocking them and criticizing me for needing rides for my horse, Kendra liked their Facebook posts and made comments to these people that she would like to be included in their circle and on rides they planned. She was apparently jumping ship when the person she had been using to become popular, me, wasn't popular anymore. She didn't want to be connected with me because I stood up against the bullies, because she wanted them to like her.

So, when I discovered her backstabbing behavior, I called her out on it, and she denied it, of course, and then she unfriended and blocked me on Facebook. And that was the end of our supposed friendship.

I guess I should be grateful that we were only friends for just over a year, but it still hurt me, because I had trusted her and allowed her into my life and accepted her as a friend, only to discover what a manipulating, opportunistic, backstabber she really was.

And Kendra really showed her true colors yet again, when I hauled my horse out to Tucson, AZ for a week of horse camping in the late winter of 2014. I had organized the horse camping week and invited several people, including another fake friend, Barb. Well, Barb was on the fence about going and finally decided she couldn't go. And only one other couple were able to go, and they met me there. But apparently, Barb was resentful about me going, and Kendra must have decided to strike while the situation seemed sensitive because...well, you know what they say, "When the cat's away, the mice do play". When I returned from AZ, I discovered that my supposed friend, Barb had invited Kendra over to her place to ride with her, and they had become fast friends...even though Barb was made aware of what Kendra had done to me and knew how much Kendra had hurt me, and what a lying fake friend Kendra really was.

Oh well. I decided that the two of them probably did me a favor and they actually deserved each other. Two opportunistic, manipulative, disloyal, fake friends. Good riddance.

To be continued........

I'm Back........

Yes Indeed.

I allowed mean people to chase me away from my blog for over a year and try to intimidate me into being quiet about what they and other terrible people did to me the previous 2 years. Two of them, Loeta and Colleen, actually threatened me when I wrote about what was done to me over a year ago. Loeta said that I could be sued for defamation of character. But guess what?

"Defamation: Make sure you can prove the statement was false. A defamatory statement must actually be a false one. If the statement is true, you don't have grounds to sue, even if it damaged your reputation. In most cases, statements that can be construed as opinions aren't considered defamatory, because an opinion is subjective and can't be proved as objectively false."

Loeta lied just to manipulate me.

The other person, Colleen, snuck around behind my back and deleted me from her and her husband's lives and horse boarding business. She gossiped and badmouthed me and stabbed me in the back and even stole my photos to use for her business without my permission. Colleen had promised me a lifetime membership at her boarding facility in return for the use of my photos, but then she reneged and took my membership away when it suited her. She then publicly badmouthed me some more when I called her out on it.

And these were two people that professed to be my dear friends. They promised to be loyal and to always have my back just as I had been a loyal and true friend for years. But they wanted to shut me up after they did me wrong and when I told the truth about their actions, because the truth revealed their lies, manipulation and fake personalities. They wanted me to keep quiet and be a nice girl. And I did. But I shouldn't have. I've had to keep it bottled up inside of me for so long that it has made me bitter and resentful. Everything I wrote back then was the truth as I experienced it.
Do you know why bad people get away with mistreating others? Because their victims don't speak out.

But I'm not going to be quiet any longer.

Riding at Fourth of July Canyon

A few weeks ago I took my new mule, Choctaw, for a trail ride with some friends. Since I had only ridden my Choctaw twice, I really wanted to get Colleen's opinion of him.
Paula had offered to take him on some bosque ditchbank rides to get him used to bicycles and other urban experiences, and Choctaw and her foster mule were buddies, so I let her keep him at her place. But I decided to invite her up to the mountains to join my friends for our trail ride up at Fourth of July Canyon, so it just made sense for her to bring Choctaw up for me to ride.
But first I asked Colleen to ride him for a little while, while I rode her mare.  Notice, the britchen that Choctaw is wearing? That britchen involves a long, terrible experience surrounding the obnoxious behavior of someone I had falsely believed to be a friend.

I hadn’t bought a britchen for Choctaw yet because I was told by his previous owners that they never used one on him on their trails and hills and his saddle never shifted forward. Indeed, while doing his test ride, we rode down into a deep arroyo and his saddle stayed in place. Also, when I rode him at the Mule and Donkey Event just a week earlier, Paula told Allen, another friend, that Choctaw’s saddle fit him well and he didn’t need a britchen. So I trusted everyone’s opinions and information.
But when I saddled up Choctaw for our Fourth of July Canyon trail ride, Paula said I needed a britchen and she offered to let me use the one she had, even though it was the only britchen she had brought. I was actually surprised that she hadn’t brought me an extra britchen since she has two, one for her mule and one for her foster mule, especially since I had only had Choctaw for only a couple weeks and she had told me that he didn’t need one! If she thought Choctaw needed a britchen and knew she had told me earlier that he didn’t, then a good, kind friend would have…should have brought an extra britchen to share or at least should have told me that we should put off riding at Fourth of July Canyon until I bought Choctaw a britchen. I could have ridden Apache afterall!
But our trail ride started off well. Choctaw was perfect for Colleen and her mare was wonderful for me. There were 11 of us heading out to ride together on the beautiful trails at Fourth of July Canyon in the Manzano Mountains.


Colleen's mare is much taller than I'm used to and feels very comfortable, but a little like riding a tall elephant smoothly lumbering through the forest.

My friend Kristi liked having her horse tailgating Colleen's mare because he tends to be very forward and chargy and it makes her nervous when she can't control him, but she likes to use Colleen's mare as a wall to slow him down. Choctaw was happy to stroll along way in the back.

It was Colleen’s first time to ever ride a mule and she kept saying how comfortable he is and how relaxed and wonderful he is on the trails. I was very proud of my new mule!

We had two young boys on the ride,the horse in front is actually a talented Mounted Shooting horse.

The forest was so beautiful and green. Every time I looked back at Colleen and Choctaw, Colleen was grinning from ear to ear. Mules just make you smile!

Some of these photos in this post were taken by Paula. Here you can see me riding Colleen's mare out in front and Colleen on Choctaw.

                                                      Pretty cool looking dead tree…..

                                          See? You can’t help but smile while riding a mule!

At one point a couple miles down the trail, we had to enter through the Wilderness gate….


Choctaw walked right through, relaxed and content to be out on the trail….

                                              C and my awesome mule Choctaw!

The trail was a bit steep and narrow in sections and there were rocks and boulders, but Choctaw easily covered it all and had no problems even though he has mostly been ridden on the flats and on the rolling hills of the Chupadera Mountains in Southern New Mexico. But I have spoken with his previous owners who owned him in Oklahoma and they had taken him to the Winding Stairs Mountain Recreation Area in the Ouachita Mountains at Cedar Lake Equestrian Campground
for a long weekend of camping on trails that varied from easy to very rugged. And even though he was ridden every day, all day, he never was sore and was always ready to head out on the trails.

The game plan was for Colleen to ride Choctaw until we stopped for lunch and then we would switch…..

Standing on the Crest of the Manzano Mountains beneath Mosca Peak.

                              Me up front with Colleen and Choctaw behind.

And we finally made it to our lunch/rest stop where I tied up Choctaw, and he patiently waited until I was done with my lunch.


And then we all saddled up and got ready to continue down the trail.

                                  See my face? It’s impossible to ride a mule without smiling!


                                                        Choctaw is so comfortable to ride!

And those ears! Sometimes they stand straight up, sometimes they spread out like airplane wings, and sometimes they just flop all over the place.

The trail was very thickly overgrown and it was kind of magical to ride through all of that lush green, especially when you live in a desert state like New Mexico.


                                                         Antenna's (Ears) Forward!

                                                              Yep…..still smiling!

                             Airplane ears flying over the Crest of the Manzano Mountains!


                                  Smiling huge here!…..Gotta love those airplane ears!

The switchbacks began…………and this is where Paula began griping, complaining, and whining about not having a britchen on her mule because my mule was wearing it instead. It didn’t matter that she had offered it to me at the beginning of the ride and she even put it on my mule. Didn’t matter that it was her choice to loan me her britchen and not bring another one for me even though she believed that BOTH of our mules would need a britchen. Didn’t matter that she was supposed to be a good friend who should be helpful and not hurtful to a friend, and not set up her friend to fail.
No none of those things mattered, because she raised hell and caused a scene and made all of us on the trail ride listen to her complain. She chose to dismount her mule because she said he was not happy about going downhill and his saddle was riding up on him. She chose to walk the remainder of the trail ride, and even played the martyr and refused anyone’s help or assistance. Willow even offered her son’s horse to ride, but Paula refused! I even offered her Choctaw to ride and I would walk. I was wearing my Ariat hiking riding boots, so walking would have been no big deal for me. But she refused! And she even went so far as to loudly proclaim that she was walking to “teach me a lesson and make me feel bad”…exact words! I already felt bad, but I was angry that she could be so needlessly cruel.
Paula did take up Colleen’s offer to pony her foster mule, but ironically was very rude towards Colleen on several occasions during and after our ride. She was also rude towards others too. When anyone made a silly joke about our mules, or about us riding an ass, Paula would roll her eyes and comment “horse people!”. She complained to me at the beginning of the ride about Colleen being late to the trail head. And Colleen told me later that evening on the telephone when she called me, that during the ride whenever she teased that if I ever deciding to sell my mule, she wanted to be first in line, Paula rudely said, “Lisa better never sell him to the likes of HER!”.
And then when the majority of our group rode on ahead without Paula,(and I was glad, because I was tired of hearing Paula whine and complain) she trailed behind with two other riders in our group, Loeta and Cory, probably complaining all the way back to the trail head. (I was later told by Loeta that yes, Paula did frequently complain, yet she still refused any help or offers to ride their horses)
Her behavior was really horrible. And I was so embarrassed that I had even invited her on the ride!

When I got back to the trail head, I took her mule and mine and unsaddled, untacked, brushed down, and watered both mules. But when Paula returned to the trailer, she never once acknowledged what I did for her and just sulked around and shot me evil looks. I even hung up her bridle, britchen, saddle, scooped the manure, placed hay bags back inside the trailer and loaded my own mule into her trailer. She never even said thank you.
What she did say was that she was going to bring my mule back to my house and she wasn’t going to ride him on her ditch bank trails. She said it in a very threatening way. I think she thought I would beg her to keep my mule and would be offended…but seriously? I would have never let her take Choctaw back to her home after the terrible behavior she portrayed towards me and my friends. She seemed surprised when I agreed with her but then told me that she thought I wasn’t the best person to own a mule and that I should sell him to her (By the way, this was at least the 4th time she had asked to buy him from me! Yes, I got a good deal on him, and she knew it. And she acted jealous and seemed to want him for herself, even telling me that it was a good situation for her since her foster mule would be going back to his owner at the end of the summer, and her own mule was still laid up from an injury, so she would need another mule to ride.)

But, when I told her no…. Yet again, she got upset and started criticizing me about the britchen, about taking Choctaw on mountain trails, claiming they were too rugged for him and it was cruel of me. She complained that I didn’t douse Choctaw in fly spray before our ride, even though there were only a few flies at the trail head and none on the trail. She also chastised me about how I asked my friend Colleen to ride Choctaw and give me her opinion. Paula claimed that her opinion should have been good enough for me!!
She even made me cry out of anger and frustration. I don’t do drama well and I rarely ever get angry. I'm also very softhearted, which seems to make me an easy target to be other people’s doormat. But here's the kicker......when I was crying, Paula was LAUGHING at me and saying how 'hilarious' (her exact words) it was that I was crying.

When we finally got to my house and I took my mule back, she once again told me I should sell Choctaw to her. She actually said, “This is your last chance. You sell him to me and I’ll do all the hard stuff with him, and I’ll let you ride him and do the fun stuff”. Exact words! I was offended that she said that to me. I then offered her a check for $100 to cover the costs of feeding him and scooping his poop for the couple days that Choctaw was at her place. My intent was for her to finally realize I was severing all ties with her. She greedily snatched the check from my hand, just as she'd done with all the hundreds of dollars of gas money and countless lunches I paid for her over the past year.
But then as I walked up the hill to my barn, she even had the audacity to yell out loudly, “Give him some of Apache’s Previcox tonight”. She said it as if she owned him or thought her opinions mattered to me!

What the hell?? Why would he need my mare’s arthritis medicine?! He was not sore after our 7 mile ride, he was not even tired. And he’s only an 8 year old mule…not a bit of arthritis in his joints.
I had to shake my head in disbelief as I ignored her “request” and continued walking, because one of the things she harped about during the short time that I knew Paula over the last year, is that she knew best when it came to taking care of her horses and mules, and she didn’t put up with people telling her what to do for her animals. In fact her favorite saying is “My Mule, My Rules!”.
Well, she was crazy insane to even think I would consider selling my mule to her.





Later that evening Colleen called me at home because she had seen me crying and was upset that Paula had caused it. And on the phone with me, she was angry...no...furious...with Paula's horrible behavior. Colleen aggressively told me on the phone that "that nasty woman had better never show her face at my business nor try to ride with me again". Yes, those were her exact words.

(But I later discovered that Colleen is a fake friend, a user and a manipulator and will say and do whatever she needs to get her way or get what she wants. In fact, a year later she is best buddies with Paula. Talk about a backstabber!)

Well, other than discovering that some people I thought were friends actually never were, and they just seemed to have used me to get invited to rides and be shown my favorite trail routes, the ride at Fourth of July Canyon was absolutely wonderful! Choctaw was perfect and did everything I asked. He even led for a while when we had to bushwhack around a fallen tree and he made me smile the entire day.
Now if only people could be as wonderful as animals, life would be perfect.


(All information in this blog post is the truth as I experienced it.)